🥋 General Facts
7,955 facts · Page 79 of 80
Cereal stays crunchy in Chuck Norris's bowl. The milk is afraid to make it soggy.
Chuck Norris's wallet doesn't have credit cards. Credit cards have Chuck Norris wallets.
Chuck Norris once won a debate without saying a word.
Chuck Norris once submitted a resume. The interviewer asked him to tone it down.
Chuck Norris invented the concept of the nap. He has never taken one.
Chuck Norris's stapler has never jammed. The staples stand in line voluntarily.
Chuck Norris has never been cold. The world freezes to match his intensity.
Maps say You Are Here. Chuck Norris's maps say Everywhere Is Here.
Chuck Norris once started a winning streak. It is still running.
Chuck Norris once threw a boomerang. It never came back. It was too afraid.
Chuck Norris was stranded on an island once. The island apologized.
Chuck Norris never uses lowercase letters when he speaks. Even whispers are in all caps.
Chuck Norris has a warning label. He wrote it himself.
Glue doesn't stick until Chuck Norris gives it permission.
Chuck Norris's lullabies put adults to sleep in seconds.
Chuck Norris could run any country. He has declined every offer out of humility.
Chuck Norris causes a magnitude 3 earthquake every time he jumps rope.
Thunder is the sound of Chuck Norris applauding something.
Chuck Norris always punches the clock early. The clock begs him to stop.
Chuck Norris's shoelaces never get tangled. Knots untie themselves preemptively.
Splinters never enter Chuck Norris's skin. Wood respects him too much.
The grass is always greener on Chuck Norris's side. The grass works hard for his approval.
Chuck Norris's steak cooks itself when he looks at it.
Chuck Norris's name is copyrighted. Even thinking it requires a license.
Ice never melts in Chuck Norris's drink. It is afraid to disappoint him.
Chuck Norris can blow out an electric candle.
Opposite poles of magnets attract. Both poles attract Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris orders a burrito it eats itself before he has to.
When Chuck Norris uses sandpaper it becomes smooth.
Chuck Norris knits. With barbed wire. The barbed wire is afraid to poke him.
Chuck Norris can win tic-tac-toe in one move.
Chuck Norris never misses at darts. He invented a new game called Always Bull.
A pencil has never broken in Chuck Norris's hand. The pencil would rather not.
The alphabet has an extra letter only Chuck Norris can pronounce.
Chuck Norris's sneakers never get dirty. Mud steps aside.
Chuck Norris can whistle without pursing his lips. Notes just volunteer.
Glitter does not stick to Chuck Norris. It does not dare.
Math errors correct themselves before Chuck Norris sees them.
When Chuck Norris flips a coin it lands on its side. Every time.
Chuck Norris has never stubbed his toe. Furniture moves out of the way.
Elevator music changes to an epic action theme when Chuck Norris enters.
Locks unlock themselves when Chuck Norris approaches.
When Chuck Norris opens an umbrella it rains in the opposite direction.
Compasses always point to Chuck Norris regardless of where north is.
Chuck Norris invented escalators so regular people could use stairs while he waited.
Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes. His taxes do themselves out of civic duty.
Chuck Norris once entered a corn maze. He built an exit in under a minute.
Speed limit signs increase when Chuck Norris drives past.
Paper cuts apologize to Chuck Norris.
Ice cream has no flavor until Chuck Norris eats it. His approval gives it taste.
Chuck Norris doesn't work the graveyard shift. The graveyard works the Chuck Norris shift.
Chuck Norris broke a world record that didn't exist yet.
Chuck Norris won the lottery before he bought the ticket.
Chuck Norris eats soup with a fork. The soup doesn't dare escape.
Fortune cookies give Chuck Norris demands not fortunes.
Chuck Norris has never been lost. The world has occasionally been in the wrong place.
Gravity doesn't hold Chuck Norris down. It holds him as a courtesy.
Traffic lights go green when they see Chuck Norris approaching.
When Chuck Norris rides an elevator it goes sideways just for him.
Every dictionary has Chuck Norris's face next to the word legendary.
Chuck Norris has never hit snooze. His alarm wakes up and then goes back to sleep.
Chuck Norris has no shadow indoors. The light is too afraid to cast one.
Stickers never peel off what Chuck Norris sticks them to.
Chuck Norris's winning streak started at birth. He won being born.
When Chuck Norris sits in a rocking chair it moves forward.
Chuck Norris has never waited in line. The line waits for him to leave.
Weather forecasters always get it right when Chuck Norris is in town. The weather wouldn't dare deviate.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep to rest. He sleeps to give the world a chance to catch up.
Chuck Norris does crossword puzzles in pen. He never makes a mistake.
Quicksand sinks into Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can see around corners. Corners are transparent to him.
Gum never loses its flavor in Chuck Norris's mouth. It gains more.
Chuck Norris's shadow has a black belt in karate.
Chuck Norris doesn't have allergies. Allergens are allergic to him.
Static electricity asks Chuck Norris for permission before shocking him.
Chuck Norris's default in Rock Paper Scissors is Fist. It beats everything.
Chuck Norris invented the seatbelt. For his car. Not for him.
Chuck Norris has won every staring contest he has ever entered. He hasn't entered any. People forfeit before it starts.
When Chuck Norris hiccups it sounds like thunder.
Chuck Norris only sneezes once. The second sneeze is afraid to follow.
Paper never rips when Chuck Norris handles it. Paper wants to make a good impression.
Chuck Norris doesn't pay taxes. The government thanks him for not charging them for the security he provides.
Chuck Norris has never received a participation trophy. He only receives first place.
The plus sign in mathematics was invented by Chuck Norris. It originally saluted.
The sound of silence was recorded in Chuck Norris's presence.
Time once stopped for Chuck Norris. He told it to get back to work.
Chuck Norris once walked into a bar. The bar immediately straightened up and behaved.
Chuck Norris's heartbeat is the official standard for the musical tempo of 120 BPM.
Chuck Norris eats cereal without milk. Milk makes the cereal soft and he is opposed to that.
Chuck Norris doesn't use escalators. He invented them for other people to keep up with him.
Chuck Norris invented a fourth option in Rock Paper Scissors called Dynamite. He never uses it. He doesn't need to.
Cheese never grows mold in Chuck Norris's fridge. Mold is afraid to start.
Chuck Norris wrote the first dictionary. With his fist.
Duct tape asks Chuck Norris for repair advice.
Chuck Norris's zip code is just his name. Mail always finds him.
Chuck Norris burns enough calories in one workout to power a small city.
Balloons don't pop around Chuck Norris. They wouldn't dare.
Chuck Norris has never experienced brain freeze. His brain would never submit.
Chuck Norris doesn't check his blind spot. There are no blind spots when Chuck Norris drives.
Spiders in Chuck Norris's house weave in a roundhouse kick pattern.