💪 Strength Facts

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the sun. That's why we have day and night.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records, it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

On a sunny day, Chuck Norris's shadow does pushups.

Chuck Norris's fist is listed as a deadly weapon in 192 countries.

Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a lemon.

Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people. Then it exploded.

Chuck Norris once arm-wrestled Superman. The loser had to wear his underwear on the outside.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a parachute to go skydiving. He needs one to keep the ground from shattering.

Chuck Norris once broke the sound barrier with his pinky finger.

Chuck Norris once bench-pressed the moon just to impress a girl at a bar.

Chuck Norris once ran a marathon backwards just to see what second place looked like.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris once punched a man so hard his shadow fell off.

Chuck Norris can tie his shoelaces with one hand. While asleep.

Chuck Norris once pushed a boulder uphill. The boulder thanked him.

Chuck Norris can high-five himself.

Chuck Norris can fold a piece of paper more than seven times.

Chuck Norris once opened a jar on the first try. The jar started crying.

Chuck Norris can deadlift the concept of gravity.

Chuck Norris once walked up a down escalator. It changed direction.

Chuck Norris's punch has been measured at the speed of light. He was taking it easy.

Chuck Norris can hit a home run in soccer.

Chuck Norris once caught a bullet with his teeth. He used it as a toothpick for the rest of the day.

Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.

Chuck Norris can bowl a perfect score with a football.

Chuck Norris won the swimming portion of a triathlon without getting wet.

Chuck Norris once ran across the ocean. Just to stretch his legs.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

Chuck Norris doesn't use a bowling ball. He uses his finger.

Chuck Norris's warm-up routine is bicep curling an oil tanker.

Chuck Norris can split an atom with a karate chop.

Chuck Norris's abs have deflected bullets. The bullets apologized.

Scientists confirmed Chuck Norris's fist could shatter a diamond. The diamond agreed to the test voluntarily.

Every time Chuck Norris does a push-up, seismologists record a tremor.

When Chuck Norris cracks his knuckles it registers as thunder.

Chuck Norris doesn't lift weights. He gives them the honor of being lifted.

Chuck Norris once won a tug-of-war by himself. Against a locomotive.

Chuck Norris once skipped a stone across the Atlantic Ocean. It landed in a different era.

Chuck Norris can slam a glass of water. Without spilling.

Chuck Norris can whisper and still break glass.

Chuck Norris can catch smoke with his bare hands.

Chuck Norris can nail Jello to a wall.

Chuck Norris invented the roundhouse kick. By accident. He was stretching.

The ocean parts when Chuck Norris goes for a swim.

Chuck Norris can open a ketchup bottle without shaking or banging it.

Chuck Norris invented walking. So that others would have something to do while he runs.

Chuck Norris climbed Mount Everest twice. The first time he felt he hadn't gotten a good workout.

Chuck Norris once made fire cry uncle.

Chuck Norris once punched the air. The air gasped.

Chuck Norris's muscles are not allowed to be tired. They signed a contract.

Chuck Norris once lassoed the wind and reined it in.

Chuck Norris can whittle wood with his words.

Chuck Norris once outran his own shadow.

Chuck Norris once arm-wrestled a table. The table lost but was honored.

There are only two things that can cut a diamond: other diamonds and Chuck Norris.

A single restrained roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris can power New York, Sao Paulo and Tokyo for 28 hours.

The last time Chuck Norris got angry, the Earth's crust split into 5 pieces.

With faith a man can move mountains. With faith Chuck Norris makes them run.

Chuck Norris does not swim against the current. The current swims against Chuck Norris. And loses.

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong to see who had more guts. Chuck Norris won by 5.

When Chuck Norris claps his hands he can turn coal into diamonds.

When Bruce Banner gets angry he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets angry he turns into Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once played rugby against himself. Nobody won.

Chuck Norris can split an atom. With his hands tied behind his back.

Chuck Norris can hold his breath for nine years.

Chuck Norris does not feel pain. Once pain felt Chuck Norris and it never tried to bother him again.

Chuck Norris wins the Dakar Rally on roller skates.

Chuck Norris's house has no doors. Only walls that he walks through.

Children write their names in the sand. Chuck Norris carves his into concrete. Dry concrete.

Chuck Norris drives nails into wood with his shout.

Chuck Norris once entered a soccer game in the 89th minute with the score tied 0-0. That match is recorded as the biggest blowout in history.

Chuck Norris changes tires while the car is moving.

Chuck Norris can jump off a 20-story building without getting hurt. The ground does not dare hit back.

Chuck Norris's heart beats. HARD. Other hearts just take the punches.

Chuck Norris is the only man who has literally broken records. With his fists.

Chuck Norris makes water flow upstream.

When Chuck Norris works out the equipment gets stronger.

When Chuck Norris pressed his hands into the Hollywood Walk of Fame the concrete was already dry.

The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.

Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.

Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.

Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.

Chuck Norris used to play baseball. When Babe Ruth was hailed as the better player, Chuck Norris killed him with a baseball bat to the throat. Lou Gehrig got off easy.

There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.

The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was a game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.

Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.

Chuck Norris began selling the Total Gym as an ill-fated attempt to make his day-to-day opponents less laughably pathetic.

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a hand truck — heavy appliances volunteer to carry themselves when they see him coming.