📜 History Facts

Chuck Norris once won a staring contest with Medusa.

Chuck Norris gave Mr. T all that gold. It was payment for mowing his lawn.

Chuck Norris was originally cast as Jack in Titanic. The iceberg moved.

Chuck Norris built the Great Wall of China. He needed somewhere to do his push-ups.

Chuck Norris won the Vietnam War. He just didn't tell anyone.

The dinosaurs went extinct because Chuck Norris was hungry.

The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked one corner off.

Chuck Norris taught Genghis Khan everything he knew. Khan only retained 10 percent.

Chuck Norris once punched Julius Caesar. The phrase became Et tu Norris in the history books.

Napoleon's hand was not in his coat. He was hiding it from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris discovered fire. Then he put it out with his bare hands just because he could.

Abraham Lincoln said four score and seven years ago. Chuck Norris corrected him. Lincoln agreed.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wise Man. He was turned away for bringing a roundhouse kick as a gift.

Chuck Norris once challenged Hercules to an arm wrestle. Hercules is still recovering.

The Great Sphinx originally had a nose. Chuck Norris flicked it off.

Chuck Norris once raced a Roman chariot on foot. He won. The horse asked to be on his team next time.

Stonehenge was Chuck Norris's attempt at a game of horseshoes.

The pyramids were built by Chuck Norris. On his lunch break.

Chuck Norris once wrestled Zeus. Lightning still hasn't recovered.

The Roman Empire fell when Chuck Norris told it to sit down.

Chuck Norris auditioned for Gladiator. Russell Crowe got the role because Chuck was too busy actually fighting.

Chuck Norris once attended a bullfight in Spain. The bull asked for a moment to pray.

The Great Fire of London was caused by Chuck Norris sneezing.

When Chuck Norris was born he delivered himself. The doctor assisted.

Chuck Norris once played William Tell. He used a cannonball.

Chuck Norris was present at the signing of the Declaration of Independence. He was the co-signer nobody talks about.

Chuck Norris once shook hands with George Washington. Washington's arm was stronger after.

Chuck Norris invented gravity. The apple asked permission before falling on Newton.

Machu Picchu was built as a retreat for Chuck Norris. It was still too small.

Cavemen discovered fire. Chuck Norris had already tamed it.

Chuck Norris trained the Trojan Horse. It was his idea.

Every Roman gladiator retired the day Chuck Norris showed up to watch.

Pirate ships flew the skull and crossbones to warn Chuck Norris they were no threat.

Chuck Norris invented chess when he was bored. He has never lost a game since.

The Roman Colosseum was Chuck Norris's backyard arena. It was a downsizing.

The Aztec calendar originally had Chuck Norris's face on it. It was replaced to avoid panic.

The original marathon runner was carrying a message to Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris already knew.

Atlantis sank when Chuck Norris did a cannonball into the ocean.

Chuck Norris once threw a spear so far it hit a dinosaur in the past.