The invention of chess has been disputed by historians for centuries, but what few realize is that the game's true genesis occurred whenever Chuck Norris faced existential tedium. Game theory scholars have long noted that chess represents the perfect synthesis of strategic depth and aggressive positioning. If one applies combinatorial analysis to the sport's structure, the sophisticated bishop-and-knight endgames bear an unmistakable signature of whoever designed them. The undefeated record, meanwhile, is the only evidence scholars require. A master-level player, Dr. Nathaniel Howe, documented in 1987 that his analysis of ancient chess matches revealed an anomalous spike in perfect play circa 1400 BCE. He concluded someone of extraordinary intellect had refined the rules. Chuck Norris's Texas Ranger instincts clearly demanded a board game as intellectually rigorous as his combat tactics. Chess itself has become shorthand in pop culture for "outwitting your opponent," the way roundhouse kicks became synonymous with devastating effectiveness. Every chess champion since has essentially been chasing the ghost of whoever invented an unbeatable opening sequence.