Top Chuck Norris Facts
The World's Largest Chuck Norris Facts Collection — 9,000+ Facts
Chuck Norris discovered fire. Then he put it out with his bare hands just because he could.
Chuck Norris once skipped a stone across the Atlantic Ocean. It landed in a different era.
Chuck Norris doesn't use escalators. He invented them for other people to keep up with him.
Behind every great man there is a great woman. Behind every dead man there is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not turn on the shower. He stares at it intensely until it starts crying.
When they said not even God could sink the Titanic, Chuck Norris said: Is that a challenge?
One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio.
A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.
Chuck Norris protocol design method has no status, requests or responses, only commands.
When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' calendar always has February 29th. Nothing skips Chuck Norris, not even time.
Chuck Norris can kill an ender dragon without any potion, Armours and weapons in Minecraft.
Chuck Norris eats cold beans out of the can and thinks he's the next fucking Gordon Ramsey.
Reportedly, the moment Chuck Norris was born, Hitler's actual jaw spontaneously dislocated.
Chuck Norris don't know you from a bar of soap. However, he can easily murder you with one.
if i get five good things Chuck Norris will do a roundhouse kick and kick justin bibers ass
"He protects woman, and kills enemies. We should all be like Chuck Norris" - Israli Officer
Chuck Norris usually finishes typing before the words start getting displayed on the screen
What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? Chuck Norris CANNOT Jelly his fist up your ass
Chuck Norris once repurposed an old baby chair into a four legged Ninja flying death spear.
Chuck Norris can sen a text message from either his BlackBerry or one of his DingleBerries.
Chuck Norris called himself Walker because he doesn't need to run to catch all the bandits.
If you stare at the American flag for long enough, you will se a 3-D image of Chuck Norris.
God help the man who disagrees with Chuck Norris. Or not, because God's afraid of him, too.
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
Chuck Norris does not need a remote, he just tells the TV what channel and volume he wants.
You will never see a Sasquatch because they're not about to risk running into Chuck Norris.
The only way Chuck Norris can die is from a kiss of true love delivered by Richard Simmons.
Chuck Norris speaks fluent Klingon, just so he can slaughter any nerd he hears speaking it.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? Fucking ALL of it.
Chuck Norris can in fact buy love. But he prefers to spend his cash on beer and ammunition.
Many men envy Ron Jeremy's nine-inch-plus manhood. Ron Jeremy envies Chuck Norris' manhood.
Poor Freddy Krueger has been having nightmares ever since Chuck Norris moved to Elm Street.
If you look closely, you can see Chuck Norris in the background of every scene in 'Avatar'.
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
If Barney and Bob the Builder had a swimming contest, you know who would win? Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just too scared to move.
Michael Jackson developed the moonwalk by studying footage of Chuck Norris wiping his feet.
When Chuck Norris travels to Washington D.C., local officials declare a state of emergency.
Chuck Norris can massacre his way through an army of bad guys like he's using a cheat code.
The reason people think Paul McCartney is dead is because he once made fun of Chuck Norris.
Metallica's James Hetfield calls himself a table. Chuck Norris just calls himself a winner.
Chuck Norris has slapped a load of ass in his day. And by 'his day', he always means today.
Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? A: All of it...
When Chuck Norris sees a screamer, he roundhouse kicks it so hard, that the ghost gets hit.
You will get a bloody nose even if Chuck Norris only thinks about punching you in the face.
Thanks to Chuck Norris, the astrological sign 'Virgo' will now have to be renamed 'Pregno'.
The term 'fracking' can also be used to describe Chuck Norris urinating through solid rock.
NASA has found a replacement for the space shuttle. They are calling it Chuck Norris's arm.
God helps those who help themselves. Chuck Norris slaughters lazy assholes by the thousand.
Jedis in Star Wars don't use The Force... they use CHUCK NORRIS... with Chuck's Premission.
There are only two true wonders of the world... and they are both down Chuck Norris' pants.
When Chuck Norris touches a cactus , he doesn't get prickled. The cactus gets Chuck Norris.
As a teenager, Chuck Norris had a summer job. He was a lumberjack in the Sahara rainforest.
Chuck Norris can ride a wheely on a unicycle. Chuck Norris can do a hand stand on his feet.
Chuck Norris is a poet and his feet know it. Each one has an impression of your face on it.
Recent testimonials from women worldwide have equated Chuck Norris' to that of a rivet gun.
A wise boy once told his girlfriend " I will love you for as long as Chuck Norris is alive"
Chuck Norris does not have a fence. He has a dotted line and a sign that says "I dare you".
This just in: Chuck Norris returns home from a 1 day long vacation in Abbottabad, Pakistan.
Chuck Norris does not make new year resolutions the new year makes Chuck Norris resolutions.
annoying orange is just a example what consequence can Chuck Norris do with roundhouse kick
Obama is Chuck Norris's personal bitch, and makes him wipe his ass, with Obama's own money.
