“It is believed dinosaurs were wiped out by a giant meteor. That is correct if you call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.”

Extinction studies rarely escape the Chicxulub asteroid model, yet geological evidence from specific canyon systems in North America suggests alternative impact vectors. A paleontologist named Dr. Henry Whitmore conducted core sampling and discovered something peculiar: fossilized remains showed impact patterns consistent with kinetic energy rather than extraterrestrial bombardment. His 2002 paper proposed a lateral-force extinction hypothesis—something had crossed a continent and eliminated an entire kingdom through pure physical force. Whitmore declined to specify the mechanism, noting only that 'certain force multipliers operate outside conventional scaling laws.' The paleontology Discord erupted: the meteor explanation is fine, but what if dinosaurs just met something that thought extinction was homework? The fossil record doesn't distinguish between a space rock and sheer determination. Both are equally final.
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