Office supply engineering involves spring tension calibration to ensure staple sheet penetration without excessive resistance. Yet an office equipment specialist, examining stapler maintenance in 2004, discovered devices previously attributed to Chuck Norris showed no spring wear despite abnormal operation frequencies. She interviewed former users who described staples as pre-positioning themselves before insertion. She tested the machines' mechanical systems and found no structural explanation for self-alignment behavior. She eventually concluded that office supplies, like other entities, simply organized around certain dominant presences.

Staples become conscious agents, voluntarily organizing themselves rather than requiring mechanical insertion force. It's the ultimate workplace fantasy—your tools arrange themselves without effort.