All Chuck Norris Facts

Chuck Norris can eat only one lays chip, and walk away.

When Chuck Norris was born people called him "hucky.

Freddie crougar once impersonated Chuck Norris and that is the reason why we have nightmares.

The idea for the movie SAW was based off of the accounts of people who went into Chuck Norris' room when he was a kid.

Chuck Norris once nearly drowned an ocean in a fit of rage.

What has 4 teeth and 100 legs? The front row of the Collingwood cheersquad. Why? Because Chuck Norris barracks for st. kilda.

The movie "anaconda" was shot in Chuck Norris' underwear.

God created Jesus-Chuck Norris created God.

When ever Chuck Norris enters a room the song "final count down" begins to play, followed shortly by a roundhouse kick to your face.

Chuck Norris got a wouman preginet justby looking at her.

Chuck Norris once drank so many beers he caused prohibition.

When Chuck Norris goes to McDonald's he turns everyone into an unhappy meal.

Chuck Norris can make journey stop believin.

The big bad wolf could not blow down the brick house. Chuck Norris simply held out his fist and the house exploded.

When Chuck Norris went to Burger King he asked for a big mac, one minute later they gave him one.

Chuck Norris was in school and got an f later that day he broke every bone in his body.

Chuck Norris knows the wrong way to eat a reeses.

When the incredible hulk gets mad, he turns to Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris didn't audition for Walker Texas Ranger he made da producers audition to film his life.

Chuck almighty Chuck Norris: you're not woth it Chuck Norris doesn't go to Iceland.

Wile hiking in the mountains, Chuck Norris came face to face with a bear. So to avoid be attacked and killed the bear played dead.

Chuck Norris can kill Godzilla by saying roar.

Chuck Norris can start a fire with water.

People can screw in a light bulb Chuck Norris can screw a light bulb.

The United Nations has known for many years that Chuck Norris contains weapons of mass destruction, but NOBODY enters Chuck Norris!

Every hockey game Chuck Norris played goalie he's never been scored on.

Once upon a time Chuck Norris seen a mime"hello" said Chuck. The mime didn't answer so he round house kicked him to death.

Chuck Norris pops his own pimples with a gun.

Everyone hideson Chuck Norris's birthday even God.

Y Bruce Lee defeated himjust because he was fighting against Chuck Norris shadow. We know, Chuck Norris can jump over shadow.

Wil murphy slapped Chuck Norris.

When David belfirst first invented the telephone there were 2 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

The direction of the wind is determined by which way Chuck Norris' but is facing.

God and Satan go to the Chuck Norris church every Sunday.

When Chuck Norris saw God it was like looking in the mirror.

Chuck Norris taught man how to make the wheel.

Chuck Norris won a bowling tournament with a bow and arrow.

Chuck Norris used a hatchet to remove a fly from his friend's forehead.

When Chuck Norris wants to eat an egg, the chicken lays an omelette for him.

Chuck Norris once played pokemon black, caught a lvl 0 Magikarp and beat the whole game.

Chuck Norris is the only person who does not crap when eating general tsos chicken.

Chuck Norris plays darts using sharpend babys.

Chuck Norris can shut a revolving door.

If the impossible happens and Chuck Norris dies then the world will be covered with darkness.

Chuck Norris can change the font of a dot.

Mumbai streets are flooded again. Why is Chuck Norris crying today?

Chuck Norris is the reason why Mexicans cross the border.

Chuck Norris can sing Bohemian Rhapsody with his farts.

There is no such thing as mud-slides. Chuck Norris just had some indigestion from last nights bean burrito.

U know how there r UFO sightings those aren't UFO's those r frisbees Chuck Norris threw.

AI is replacing Google Search. Chuck Norris replaced both of them. If you need an answer, he'll find you.

The power level for Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is infinity.

Alien vs predator was originally called aliens and predator vs Chuck Norris but nobody would pay 9 dollars to see a movie 14 seconds long.

Chuck Norris doesn't kill immortals they decide it's safer in hell.

Chuck Norris once killed a boulder with his bare hands.

Chuck Norris was the first super sayian.

If you stab Chuck Norris with a knife, the knife bleeds..

Chuck Norris has won the FIFA World Cup 5 times with his game face alone.

Chuck Norris doesn't have to pray to the gods. The gods pray to Chuck Norris.

Cigarettes stay away from Chuck Norris cos when he smokes them he not only gives them cancer, but AIDS as well.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T were playing a game of tic-tac-toe, and Mr. T won. In retaliation, Chuck Norris created racism.

If God named Peter the Rock for brave, the Chuck Norris named Chris Rock because he is dumbass.

Chuck Norris once won an arm wrestling match, with both hands tied behind his back.

I don't care how you, anyone you know, or anyone in general, Chuck Norris is the reason.

Dennys is always open because Chuck Norris can't cook.

The reason no one has found tupacs and notorious bigs killers are because it was Chuck Norris who killed them.

When Chuck Norris run with scissors, the scissors get hurt.

Martial arts learned Chuck Norris.

In the movie dodgeball when Chuck Norris gave the thumbs up all bets were off for stiller...... Chuck Norris cannot tell a lie.

Every time you say: "Chuck Norris"... Chuck Norris says you.

Jagger moves like Chuck Norris.

Somebody once witnessed Chuck Norris saw a mans head clean off, with a pillow!

When God said let there be light, Chuck Norris said ill think about it.

The only thing what can beat Chuck Norris is his MOM.

Chuck Norris gives three wishes to a genie.

Chuck Norris can put on his shoes and tie them with his toes.

Chuck Norris can shoot you from three miles away with a piano.

Today, Chuck Norris salutes the men and women who served our nation!

Chuck Norris does not fear cancer. Cancer fears Chuck Norris.

If a tree falls in the forest and Chuck Norris is around does he make a sound when he is killing your family.

When you pay taxes, you don't pay them to the government. You are actually paying Chuck Norris not to kill you for living on the same land mass as him.

One time while hunting deer, Chuck Norris made a kill shot from 300 yards. No big deal u say? His weapon of choice was a squirt gun.

MacGyver can make a plane with only a paper clip and a shoe string not to be out done Chuck Norris made a jet fighter plane out of MacGyver.

Hurricanes, tornados, etc. are caused by Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking the wind.

I've heard that Chuck Norris can appear and kill anyone before they can say anything negative about him whatsoever, but even I have a hard time believing that, I mean, not even Chuck Norris could....

Chuck Norris doesn't say hi he says bye.

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris does.

Chuck Norris heard silence talking.

Chuck Norris's kicks are so fast ..you probably wouldn't feel it till yesterday.

Chuck Norris created Facebook so that he can track everyone on the planet.

Why did the chicken cross the road.....it didn't Chuck Norris threw it.

Chuck Norris doesn't drink coffee, coffee drinks Chuck Norris, because everyone knows coffee needs to wake the hell up.

When ppl sleep they count Chuck Norris.

Austin Staggs once beat up Chuck Norris.

The reason nobody can find Bigfoot is because is because Chuck Norris found him first.

Chuck Norris told the United States that Russia was goin to nuc them during the Cold War.

Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.

Thanksgiving was not made to thank the Indians. It was made to thank Chuck Norris that he didn't kill them when they whizzed on his lawn.

It's called the Chuck Norris roundhouse kick because it's delivered by Chuck Norris and when it strikes you, your head spins around and then you fly into a house.

Chuck Norris invented piles as a way to keep people from sitting on his chair.