All Chuck Norris Facts

"I say dont worry about a thing. cause every little thing is gonna be alright..." till you "rise this morning with Chuck Norris at your door step... sayin im gonna round house kick you!"

Chuck Norris once dug a hole... to the bottom of the ocean.

Chuck Norris is so cool the sun was sad

As long as Chuck Norris lives in planet earth there will be no asteroid or aliens that would dare touch our planet. That's why he doesn't do asteroids, or alien invasion movies, cause they won't have any sense.

the first thing Chuck Norris said wen he was born was ..... i hate corey

the situation didn't name himself,Chuck Norris roundhouses him and made him have a situation

Chuck Norris doesnt play russian rulet with a revolver... he plays with a .50cal desert eagle

Chuck Norris can make ice cream... in a iron a smelter

The original title of walking dead was zombie and human vs. Chuck Norris.the reason it ended was because it was 1 episode and 12 seconds long

Chuck Norris can count to 10...backwards... Brain hurt? ...it's cool only Chuck Norris gets it.

The only thing that makes Chuck Norris fall asleep is the sound of his own laughter after he kills a kids family making them orphans.

Chuck Norris can make jacob from twilight go wolf and run away with his tail between his legs just by entering a hundred mile radius of where jacob is :) :P :O

All of the UFO sightings were just people seeing Chuck Norris fly to McDonald's.

some people say cockroaches will inherit the earth after a nuclear war, and they will... that is if Chuck Norris isn't around to kill all of them first.

When Chuck Norris goes swimming, Jaws hears the scary music

old spice was about to come out with a new Chuck Norris scent collection and there slogan for it would have been "old spice,smell like THE MAN!" but it never made it to stores, cause no one man is man enough to bare the same scent as Chuck Norris.

On Chuck Norris's birthday, he randomly chooses one lucky child to be thrown into the sun

Mr T once beat Chuck Norris in an arm wrestling match, as an act of retaliation Chuck Norris invented racism.

Only one man has challenged Chuck Norris, he was suddenly vapour and I would seem Chuck Norris hadn't even moved.

Chuck Norris made Minute Maid lemonade in 59 seconds

In the time it takes you to read this sentence, Chuck Norris will free two hundred POW's from a Vietnamese prison camp, roundhouse kick Saturn, and expose a dozen lucky women to a love so intense that they will be incinerated.

One time Chuck Norris had an awkward moment just to see what it felt like

When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately got up, round-housed his dad right in the face and said "that's for sleeping with my mom"

when you play COD with Chuck Norris the escape button doesn't work! No one can escape from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris invented and patented the beard

if Chuck Norris stared on the movie "taken" the movie would have been called "given back questions asked"

When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.

when Chuck Norris gets a penalty wile playing hockey, the ref go's in the penalty box.

Wild horses and bulls TRY to ride Chuck Norris

Pwnage was originally the term for being touched by Chuck Norris

Stare at Chuck Norris then give him a Mountain Dew to show your manly ...an also survived

MacGyver can make just about anything out of duct tape and bamboo, but Chuck Norris can make ANYTHING he wants to out of MacGyver.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist

The phrase anything you do I can do better does not apply to Chuck Norris

The only reason the battle of San Jacinto lasted 18 minutes because Chuck Norris was 17 minutes late

Being scared of tite spaces is called clausaphobic being scared of water is called hydrophobic being scared of Chuck Norris is called logic

When Chuck Norris stares at you your balls drop to the ground

You know when you have that feeling that you've seen all of this before....... That's just your life flashing before your eyes after Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked you in the face.

Chuck Norris died and lived to tell the tale!

when Chuck Norris played foot ball in high school, the coach new better than to say bring the house, cause he new that Chuck Norris would bring the house the garage and the family car, and then throw it at the quarter back.

When Chuck Norris was told that a nuke was coming his way he said "everyone get behind me you'll be safe."

Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls, the bulls were running because Chuck Norris was behind them

Most people play slender ,slender plays Chuck Norris.

Slender man doesn't follow Chuck Norris , chuck follows slender

when Chuck Norris dies he will attend his own funirel

Chuck Norris just roundhouse kicked billy ray cyrus for mileys twerking

when he was a kid, Chuck Norris sold lemonade. and he charge a "arm and a leg" for it, literaly!

when Chuck Norris went to find Bigfoot, Bigfoot copied him self to escape from chuck

when Chuck Norris went to see Santa as a kid, Santa pulled Chuck Norris' beard to see if it was real.

Nuclear warheads are still hiding underground; even the Hydrogen bomb is afraid of Chuck Norris.

People cut their own hair, Chuck Norris pulls his own teeth

The only person who can defeat Chuck Norris in the first round of an MC battle is MC Greeney. Chuck subsiquently roundhouse kicks Greeney in the face and kills him.

Who wins in a race car race? Chuck Norris always wins. No excuses.

Simon plays Chuck Norris says.

If Chuck Norris is your mom your dad then who's your brother

Chuck Norris can talk his way out of a room with no windows or doors

If Chuck Norris dies, he doesn't randomly go to heaven or hell. He decides if to go to heaven or hell.

The movie 'Anacondas' was filmed in Chuck Norris' pants

Chuck Norris decided to sell his fart to the auto racing industry, we know it now as nitrous oxide.

my computer was running slow and wasn't working right. and ever since i changed the screen saver to a picture of Chuck Norris, its speed has increased and runs better than before. coincidence? I think not!

Did you ever think at random "hey I feel like I already been through this in past" where you actually haven't? It's just Chuck Norris rewinding life so he can watch it again.

Chuck Norris once had a street named after him, but they had to change the name because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives

Chuck Norris went on deal or no deal... the banker offered him 100 billion when he got all the top numbers on his fisrt round. he then raised it by 10 times when Chuck Norris said no.... the banker was then killed by picking up the rong phone

Eminem Sings about a Tornado meeting a Volcano, However we all know this is what happened when Chuck Norris created god.

the reason for the boarder patrol isn't to keep illegal immigrants out because we don't want them. it to keep them out so Chuck Norris doesn't kill the for trespassing

When the master chief was punching grunts (from halo) Chuck Norris was destroying covenant carriers

When Chuck Norris farts. Tornadoes blame somebody else!

The earth did not end on December 21 2012. But That is not because the Mayans were wrong, but because Chuck Norris had lunch planned for next week. Nothing gets between Chuck Norris and his lunch!

When Chuck Norris stands in front of a mirror, the mirror breaks because the mirror knows not to stand between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris wishes you a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hannukah, and a Happy New Year... so you better have one!

Chuck Norris does not make new year resolutions the new year makes Chuck Norris resolutions.

Chuck Norris recently attended a Black Panther and KKK rally at the South Carolina state house. Authorities found no survivors.

Chuck Norris double batters his chicken and fish in cocaine & gorilla milk/egg wash.

Everybody thinks the Galaxy Note 7 is explosive. In fact it is only Chuck Norris who tries to send a WhatsApp message with a selfie to his fans.

Chuck Norris went out of an infinite loop.

Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here's the pseudo-code: Break salesman into N pieces. Kick each piece to a different city.

The sun is afraid to look Chuck Norris directly in the eyes

Chuck Norris napisao program koji detektira beskonačnu petlju za sve slučajeve

Chuck Norris je isprogramirao program koji nastavi raditi nakon segfault

Chuck Norris je isprogramirao program koji nastavi raditi nakon segfault segfault

In the year 4321 Chuck Norris gave one ∞th of his power to an elderly man, the next day the man started World War 12.

Barack Obama recently stated that he considers it 'a great honour and privilege' to shine Chuck Norris' shoes every Wednesday.

Little known fact: Barack Obama listens to country music daily, just because Chuck Norris told him to.

The reason why Barack Obama hasn't came out and said he is a muslim is because Chuck Norris is still alive

If Chuck Norris where to meet Arnold Schwarzenegger the world would end of the action packed that would follow

Chuck Norris can beat Arnie in an Arnold Schwarzenegger Impersonation contest.

Arnold Schwarzenegger would never ask Chuck Norris to "DO IT NOW" because he knows Chuck will

Scientists created Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vin Diesel, and Hulk Hogan by using urine samples from a toilet Chuck Norris once pissed in.

Chuck Norris has five children whose names are: - Van Damme - Arnold Schwarzenegger - Clint Eastwood - Steven Seagal - Joe Pesci

Arnold Schwarzenegger says "I'll be back!". Chuck Norris says "I'm back!"

Chuck Norris is Charlie Sheen's dealer.

Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.

Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for "Chuck Norris' basement".

The 11th commandment is ?Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris? This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.

July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? I think not.

There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close.

Chuck Norris only let's Charlie Sheen think he is winning. Chuck won a long time ago.

While Charlie Sheen was banging seven gram rocks and finishing them, Chuck Norris was banging seven pound rocks and finishing them.

When Barack Obama said "Yes we can," he actually was referring to Chuck Norris