All Chuck Norris Facts
9,134 legendary facts and counting. Page 5 of 92.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer...shame he never cries
the only thing what can beat Chuck Norris is his MOM
Chuck Norris gives three three wishes to a genie.
Chuck Norris can put on his shoes and tie them with his toes
Chuck Norris can shoot you from three miles away with a piano
today, Chuck Norris salutes the men and women who served our nation!
Chuck Norris does not fear cancer. cancer fears Chuck Norris
if a tree falls in the forest and Chuck Norris is around does he make a sound when he is killing your family
when you pay taxes, you dont pay them to the goverment. you are actually paying Chuck Norris not to kill you for living on the same land mass as him
One time while hunting deer, Chuck Norris made a kill shot from 300 yards. No big deal u say? his weapon of choice was a squirt gun.
macgyver can make a plane with only a paper clip and a shoe string not to be out done Chuck Norris made a jet fighter plane out of macgyver.
Hurricans, tornados, etc are caused by Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking the wind.
ive heard that Chuck Norris can appear and kill anyone before they can say anything negative about him whatsoever, but even i have a hard time believing that, i mean, not even Chuck Norris could....
Chuck Norris dosent say hi he says bye
Guns dont kill people, Chuck Norris does
Chuck Norris heard slince talking
Chuck Norris`s kicks are so fast ..you probably wudnt feel it till yesterday.
Chuck Norris created facebook so that he can track everyone on the planet
why did the chicken cross the road.....it didn't Chuck Norris threw it
Chuck Norris doesnt drink coffee, coffee drinks Chuck Norris, because everyone knows coffee needs to wake the hell up
the pills from "Limitless" was made from Chuck Norris' shit.
when ppl sleep they count Chuck Norris
Austin Staggs once beat up Chuck Norris
the reason nobody can find bigfoot is because is because Chuck Norris found him first.
Chuck Norris told the united states that russia was goin to nuc them during the cold war
death once had a near Chuck Norris experience
Thanksgiving was not made to thank the indians, it was made to thank Chuck Norris that he didnt kill them when they whizzed on his lawn.
Its called the Chuck Norris roundhouse kick because it's delivered by Chuck Norris and when it strikes you, your head spins around and then you fly into a house.
Chuck Norris invented piles as a way to keep people from sitting on his chair
the fact is that giraffes wernt made from centureys of evolution. they just say that be chuck is powa. the fact is that giraffes were made when Chuck Norris upper cutted a horse
you know how eyes are windows to the soul ? well if you have a staring contest with Chuck Norris he'll suck out your soul
Out of sheer boredom, Chuck Norris once stabbed an elephant to death, with a toothpick!
If a black cat crosses your path, you have bad luck. If Chuck Norris crosses your path, it was nice knowing you.
Chuck Norris doesn't commit susicide, susicide commits him
When Chuck Norris owns an Xbox 360 It never had the three rings of death because it's afraid of Chuck Norris.
i dont know why people treat Chuck Norris like hes a killer he has the heart of a child which isa bad thing
Chuck Norris the reason why jason bourne can't remember his identity.
the fountain of youth is actually Chuck Norris' lavatory
Shud up Phil you twat, me an Chuck Norris will kick your ass then were gonna chin whoever has been startin on will weston! fuck you anonymOus
The high tide occurs when Chuck Norris flies over the beach. the rising water is where god pees his pants
Chuck Norris can leave the door open at night cause no one messes with Chuck Norris
people can glow in the dark.....Chuck Norris can glow in the light.
Chuck Norris can bring a bike to a monster truck show
the popular videogame "DOOM" is loosely based around the time satan borrowed two bucks from Chuck Norris and forgot to pay him back
everyone on roblox is about to be roundhousekicked by Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris got the most kills in a battle ground without no pvp gear or weapon
You'll never grasp the true form of Chuck Norris' attack.
Chuck Norris can count the ABC
Chuck Norris is the 1st playboy playmate
when Chuck Norris lost his ring he made he commanded SADAKU to retrieve it
only you can prevent forest fires, only Chuck Norris can prevent roundhouse kicks..he just doesn't try
Chuck Norris once finished a whole cake, before his friends told him there was a stripper in it
the reason they found water on mars is because Chuck Norris round house kicked it in the face
geico saved 15% by switching to Chuck Norris
the 300 spartans would have not stood a chance against the pesians if Chuck Norris had not let them use the "total gym".
some said there is nothing to fear but fear itself. what he really meant was there is nothing to fear but Chuck Norris
when Chuck Norris doesnt pay the rent, he evicts his owner.
Chuck Norris lit a ciggerate with an ice cube
Chuck Norris can hunt a bear with his beard tied behind his back
Chuck Norris once dug a hole all the way to the moon.
Ghosts are scard of Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can play xbox live on ps3
Chuck Norris can take the square root of a negitive number
Chuck Norris eats testoster O's for breakfast every morning
Chuck Norris once had diarrhea, he shat karate
Chuck Norris doesn't not need oxygen, oxgen need Chuck Norris
Stand 1 inch from Chuck Norris face-to-face, and he can still kick u in the top of the head!
As a child, Chuck Norris used to engoy making shapes in sandboxes. we call them pyramids
stars wish upon a Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is did catch'em all
Chuck Norris doesnt get poisoned by a cobra, the cobra gets poisoned by Chuck Norris
a king cobra once bit Chuck Norris... after 5 days of terrible pain... the snake died
how much wood would a wood chuck chuck if the wood chuck was Chuck Norris...all of it...and them some.
celebicy took a vow of Chuck Norris
the concept of 0 was created after a battle againts the romans and the greeks. the romans had Chuck Norris on there side, so when the battle was over and they counted the dead there were no greeks left, then the concept of 0 was born.
Chuck Norris can give water a bath
When Chuck Norris sat for his HSC, he recieved a band 7 in al his subjects
Here is a short list of things Chuck Norris can't do: Die
the reason they couldent find any oil after the gulf oil spill is because Chuck Norris wanted to prove to the world that he could mix oil and water.
Chuck Norris is so accurate he can shoot a bullet through the scope of a gun... the scope of the gun he just shot the bullet from
Chuck Norris can play angry birds, listen to music and watch movies on a pay-phone... and all for free
davie crocket may have killed a bear when he was 3. but Chuck Norris killed a pack of velociraptor's when he was 1
Chuck Norris once shot a chicken in the head, without a gun, and a bullet, and a chicken present!
Spellcheck once tried to correct Chuck Norris......he ate the monitor with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
only Chuck Norris can plug up the black hole just by his shit
Chuck Norris wants to be remembered as a humantarian...we best do what he wants.
god created jesus toencourage peace when that didnt work he created Chuck Norris to enforce it
did you see the movie godzilla he did'nt come to scare newyork he came to get away from Chuck Norris
at Chuck Norris's wedding the best man was the country of united states
Chuck Norris can hack the u.s. national sucurity computer system using nothing but a piece of toilet paper and a M&M
southpark is Chuck Norris heavens
Chuck Norris has a flying pony do you know how it flys,chuck hit it
Chuck Norris built the hostpital he was born in.
jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can walk on lava
Chuck Norris is a kind, sweet, gentle, caring and generous human being with big heart, AND HE WILL FUCKING KILL ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE!!!
Chuck Norris doenst flush the toilet because he beats the shit out of it
Chuck Norris doesn't drink water he drinks sulfuric acid with a hint of lemon
When Chuck Norris hunts any type of game bird, he doesnt need a shotgun. He prefers to throw handfuls of gravel instead.
last halloween Chuck Norris carved his pumpkin with an axe! The design? A picture of Chuck Norris carving a pumpkin with a freakin axe!
Chuck Norris does not buy snake proof boots,he puts on boots than they are snake proof