All Chuck Norris Facts
8,874 legendary facts and counting. Page 3 of 89.
abe lincoln may have freed the slaves but Chuck Norris is everyones master
Chuck Norris is so fast that he can use the earths rotation as a tredmill.
'lizards use to be dinosaurs, untill Chuck Norris kicked the height outta them'.
Chuck Norris didnt ask jesus to forgive him for his sins he simply apologized for giving jesus's dad so many dead costermers
In the dictionary, the word "redundent" has a picture of Chuck Norris wearing a bulletproof vest....
Chuck Norris is such a beast that when he punches you in the face you fight the urge not to thank him
Chuck Norris killed you if you read this
When Chuck Norris is in the mood for seafood... he enjoys fresh caught Kracken!!!!
Chuck Norris decided to sell his poop as a food product ... we know it now as wheaties.
Chuck Norris doesn't have to milk cows. They milk themselves because they were scared of Chuck Norris
Once Chuck Norris stared down a skittle and it was so scared it pooped its pants and became an M&M. Now al they do is place a picture of Chuck Norris at the end of the Machine line and vualaa.. M&M's pattented formula.
Chuck Norris was model once a time..his measurments was 90-60-90.but upon a time he found roundhousekick and gain lots of muscles
the imitation to Chuck Norris fighting style is kung fu
Chuck Norris bought a whole chicken and ate only its soul
Chuck Norris has a shit list its called the obituarys
The mayans predict that theend of the world will come when Chuck Norris dies on Dec. 23, 2012.
the atlantic space shuttle explose because it wasnt made of Chuck Norris beard
the question be or not to be was made by Chuck Norris when he shashed bruce lee so much that he couldnt find anythink left from him
Chuck Norris runs until the treadmill gets tired
coyote vs road runner is just a performance how fast can Chuck Norris bip-iping
Chuck Norris does turn lights on, he turns dark off!
why is Chuck Norris living with us and not in other galaxy? he likes fresh meat
the end of the world will be when Chuck Norris will punch himself
The referee was afraid to call a foul on Chuck Norris Because Chuck Norris can do worse then what he already did
Chuck Norris doesnt need a guard dog a guard dog needs him
Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his own hands.
when Chuck Norris go's on the tea cups at theme parks, he gives the cup whiplash.
Chuck Norris listens to his music in 4D
Chuck Norris will find you and he will kill you gatlin
when Chuck Norris bowls he does it over hand.
Chuck Norris beet the sun at a staring contest
after Chuck Norris eats a large meal, he literaly burns of the caleries
Chuck Norris had to stop setting his phone to vibrate, the earthqaukes where killing people.
Chuck Norris has wings - on his balls ... of steel.
Chuck Norris can season his steaks with pepperspray
People add inches to their biceps by using dumbbells; people add a foot to their bicep submitting Chuck Norris facts.
as i was climbing the stairway to heaven i saw Chuck Norris crapping on one of the steps
Chuck Norris ones fought Chuck Norris. the world exploded the only person that survived was Chuck Norris no one kills Chuck Norris!!!
Chuck Norris invented roundhouse kicking season
Chuck Norris can eat a lemon with his eyes open
Chuck Norris played a game of ping-pong with the wall.... and won
Chuck Norris can put a fruit pastel in his mouth without chewing it
if someone where to shoot you Chuck Norris could come out of nowhere kill you 5 times and kill the guy who shoots for trying to take his kill before the bullets even left the barrel
The more Chuck Norris facts you submit the better your chance of going to heaven.
as a kid Chuck Norris carried out over 11 sucsessful scuicide bombing missions for the u.s. millitary... the most well known was his attack hiroshima
why isnt pisa straight up? i think it is Chuck Norris who....
The meteor in russia was caused by Chuck Norris punching the asteroid.
Chuck Norris doesn't nead a gun he just neads a bullet and someone to make him angry
Chuck Norris was originally cast in the hit film taken but he got his daughter back before the end of the opening scene
when Chuck Norris was on the electric chair and was asked his last words he said "hit the switch and start praying"
Hitler didn't shoot himself he shot at Chuck Norris.
a black mamba once bit Chuck Norris... and died
the last person to survive a roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris was michael jackson. then he turned white
Chuck Norris won the world jump roping championships, and as a literal handicap, he did it in a wheelchair. Next year he plans to try it on crutches!
Chuck Norris eats steel and craps samurai swords, which he throws away because Chuck Norris dont need weapons for mass destruction
Chuck Norris can ride a motor without the cycle
The time was afraid to go by fast because it didn't wanna be ahead of Chuck Norris.
The first terminator was sent back to kill Chuck Norris. Obviously that didn't work out.
georg bush was left handed right findered Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris smashed microsofsts window
dylan halllmark beat Chuck Norris up
Chuck Norris's shit doesn't stink
the police dont escort Chuck norris Chuck Norris escorts the police
Chuck Norris once ate a pound of crystal meth, it made him flinch
They can only measure the speed of light because it is exactly half the speed of Chuck Norris' fists.
if you spell Chuck Norris in scrable you win...forever
we pray for god.god prays for Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once won American idle by riding a unicycle
jesus once walked on water;Chuck Norris once swam on land
by reading this you have given Chuck Norris brief control over your mind
a blind man once walked in to Chuck Norris chuck said do you know who i am im Chuck Norris. the mere mention of his name cured his blindness but sadly the first last and only thing he saw was a deadly round house kick to the face
In soivet Russia Ian's (Smosh) pizza eats Ian and Anthony. SMOSHTIME WITH LUNCH Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can watch t.v... on a chalk board.
when Chuck Norris leaves a good first impression, 9 chances out of 10, it's usually the sole of his boot on there face.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? Woodchucks are now extinct
world war II happened because Chuck Norris took a nap
theres: 1st degree burns 2nd degree burns 3rd degree burns and Chuck Norris degree burn other words dust
When Chuck Norris asks for change for a penny, he always gets it.
Chuck Norris won an arm wrestling contest with both hands tied behind his back
Chuck Norris can speak russian in french... on his fiddle.
Chuck Norris can make pigs fly.
if you try to slap Chuck Norris he wont feel it
what goes around comes around. what goes around Chuck Norris gets a roundhouse kick and never comes around.
Chuck Norris cut off his own legs then walked it off
Chuck Norris once helped an old lady across the street. When a car did not stop, he roundhoused kicked it thus creating the first mini. When the old lady thanked him he roundhoused kicked her for good measure.
On facebook Chuck Norris is friends with the whole world. Everyone likes his status!
a black hole ones attempted to suck in Chuck Norris but instead Chuck Norris sucked in the black hole
Chuck Norris whas put on the cover of national geographic as the leading cause of death in africa
many people belive in god. god belives in Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris smelly breath is so strong that he can demolish a house just by breathing on it.
Chuck Norris can take the square root of a negitive number on a calculator without an error sign apearing on the screen
when Chuck Norris pours milk into his rice crispy's they shut the fuck up
Chuck Norris does not kick doors in, they are backing away from him!
The only time Chuck Norris got scared is wen he looked at him self in the mirrior
Chuck Norris doesnt have to have a no solicating sign on his door. he just pee's around the door and sales men know to leave as fast as they can or they will have 5 sec left to live
Darwins theory of evoloution ape animal caveman human Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can catch a train, i feel sorry for the person who has to throw it to him.
davey jones goes to Chuck Norris' locker.
Chuck Norris ate a brownie once
when the grim reaper dies he sees Chuck Norris standing there telling him to" come into the light"