All Chuck Norris Facts
9,640 legendary facts and counting. Page 2 of 97.
Chuck Norris could order a steak at PETA's cafeteria and get one. But he's far more likely to kick the shit out of all the candy-asses in the place before roundhousing the building into rubble.
If rocky had the eye of the tiger the tiger had the eye of Chuck Norris... Unfortunately Chuck Norris rip the tigers eye due to his unworthyness..
Chuck Norris is the name of happiness. When you Go to bed at night. Think about how much Chuck Norris would be alive if he was dead.
Chuck Norris just look at him..
the police once clocked Chuck Norris doing 100 mph while walking to the corner store
Trinkle trinkle little star, how Chuck Norris knows where you are
Chuck Norris once killed a rabbit with a piece of paper
Chuck Norris can put 14000 songs on a 1gb ipod
Chuck Norris can flip a pan using a pancake
When Chuck Norris makes a play on words, it becomes a broadway hit.
Chuck Norris can make a cheeseburger without cheese
Chuck Norris invented a game called hid and go peek
You cant fool Chuck Norris he'll kill u
Whoever hates Chuck Norris is dead in 40 seconds. If one that hates Chuck Norris changed his/her mind then Chuck Norris will teleport to the hater and punch him/her in the back and his/her spine will crack. Don't mess with Chuck Norris
some say that Chuck Norris can see his own forehead
some macians can walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim through land
When Chuck Norris died so did the music, so Chuck Norris gave music a round house kick to the head, music has never died since
gravity is not curvedness of scace and time.its just a Chuck Norris chasing texas badass dudes
Chuck Norris is so tough under his beard is not achin but another fist
Lil wayne is single because of Chuck Norris
In his spare time Chuck Norris likes to practice roundhouse kicks in corn fields, This is why we have crop circles!
we all know that the hulk is green..with envy, because he knows Chuck Norris can kick his fucking ass
Chuck Norris breaks the 2nd law of thermodynamics every time he cleans his house.
when Chuck Norris claps the sun goes out.
Chuck Norris doesn't go to the bathroom, the bathroom goes to Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once beat the entire New York jets football team by himself. And every play he ran was a punt!
Mr johnson is the only one who can overtake Chuck Norris in a moped race. Chuck Norris then dropkicked him continusly and killed him.
if you shoot Chuck Norris, the bullet dies
Chuck Norris can order from the kids menu
Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick cures the common cold. its to bad nobody has ever survived one of his kicks before.
Once upon a time, Chuck Norris lives happily ever after
One time Chuck Norris ran backwards so fast he reversed time, not possible eh well try this martin luther king jr. getting hit in the head with a brick.....twice sound familiur welll its not but try telling Chuck Norris that.
Chuck Norris went on a hike up mount st helens on may 18 1980. then he had to take a dump...
Chuck Norris doesn't have chest hairs: he has a series of venemous anemenites that, if sting you, can cause mental retardation
when Chuck Norris plays madden 2012 he plays on all-chuck
it's easier to fight the death than to fight Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once made an egg lay a chicken.
on hot summer days, Chuck Norris enjoys a nice cold glass of liquid nitrogen
people hits pinnate with a stick, Chuck Norris hits pinnate with a flamingo
Chuck Norris won the tour de france... on an exercise bike.
one day a cop pulled Chuck Norris over for speeding, that cop was lucky to leave with a warning
when you hear a fire truck siren, its not because they are going to put out a fire... but in fact, they are delivering Chuck Norris' pizza and wings
school didnt teach Chuck Norris he taught school
Chuck Norris can create life with play-doh and a battery
in soviet russia, Chuck Norris still kicks but!
Jesus may have walked on water but Chuck Norris swam through land
Chuck Norris was originally cast in the hit fil taken but he got his daughter back before the end of the opening scene
Chuck Norris can fly submerines
Chuck Norris can pick an apple out of a basket full of oranges
the grim reaper once was on Chuck Norris' door step. after he knocked, Chuck Norris said "who is it" the reaper responded "death" Chuck Norris chuckled and replied "no its not! I am death!" and proceeded to round house kick the reaper to death
Chuck Norris does not cut his grass,he simply dares it to grow
Santa was real that is til he forgot Chuck Norris' christmas present.
Chuck Norris will find you jacen heilman
if you play stairway to the stars backward, you can hear Chuck Norris bangin your sister lol
freddie krugar has nightmares about Chuck Norris
Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can run.
Chuck Norris ate concrete and shit out a brick
God and Chuck Norris were once playing chess together. But then they got bored and Chuck thought of something called martial arts. thats why God always sends down people to earth instead of himself. guess he didn't love Jesus. huh.
Chuck Norris makes a line have to shit
Compared to Chuck Norris the rock is a pebble.
Chuck Norris' beard is sexier than lmfao
When Chuck Norris was born people called him Chucky
Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum balls. he chews bowling balls.
the only reason Mexican cartel doesn't come to united states is bacause they're afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can play Xbox-Live on his wii... with a broken ps3 controller.
heres a list of things Chuck Norris cant do :
When god create Chuck Norris, god not exist anymore
meteors, there is no such thing those are the victims that being roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris taught birds how to fly
If Chuck Norris was president, we wouldn't have any wars, everyone would be badass, and there would be no more military. Chuck Norris is enough
Chuck Norris doesn't need a condom cause no one is protected from Chuck Norris
School busses stop for Chuck Norris
jesus did not make Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris made jesus
if curiosity killed the cat, Chuck Norris reincarnated it
Chuck Norris don't do titty twist, he rip your nipple off
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked somebody into outer space...and died
once Chuck Norris had a choice between wireless or road runner so instead he went for the Chuck Norris internet
Chuck Norris dosent need love, Chuck Norris is love.
did u know Chuck Norris looks like he has red hair..... so all the people he has killed or beaten i just want to say that u got beat up by a GINGER.
Chuck Norris once made an ass out of himself on national TV, So the Legend of Chuck Norris exploded from the internet and beat him to death on national TV, showing that not even Chuck Norris is safe from Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris beat gravity to the bottom
Chuck Norris went to Ihop for pizza
evertime Chuck Norris farts a city is destoryed
Chuck Norris can spike a volly ball... under handed
david copper field can turn a $1 bill into $100. but Chuck Norris can turn david copperfield into the u.s. tresury
Chuck Norris did not celebrate the new year, just as we don't celebrate the second
Chuck Norris has a bear in his room it isint dead its to afraid to move.
Every fact you suggest here in this website, it becomes true to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked micheal jackson so hard he flew across earth and came back white with his hair burning :)
when alexander gram bell inveted the first phone he already had 2 missed calls from Chuck Norris
the last words heard by many kids in Chuck Norris' 1st grade P.E. class was "tag your IT"
The three blind mice once saw Chuck Norris.
when a cop pulls over Chuck Norris for drinking and driving the cop is just making shur that he doesnt spill his beer.
Chuck Norris doesnt flush the toilet he scares the shit out of it
The moment were you dont capitalize CHUCK NORRIS is the moment when Chuck Norris decides that your dieing at that very moment.... But this is only possible if you havent pissed CHUCK NORRIS off already... Because you would already be dead.
Chuck Norris's mother left before he was born
Chuck Norris chopped an axe with a tree
I caught my girlfriend cheating on me with Chuck Norris. It was the most beautiful thing I'd seen in my life
Chuck Norris killed osama bin laden, he roundhoused the bullt through his skull!
Chuck Norris invented rap when his heart started beating