All Chuck Norris Facts

Trinkle trinkle little star, how Chuck Norris knows where you are

Chuck Norris once killed a rabbit with a piece of paper

Chuck Norris can put 14000 songs on a 1gb ipod

Chuck Norris can flip a pan using a pancake

When Chuck Norris makes a play on words, it becomes a broadway hit.

Chuck Norris can make a cheeseburger without cheese

Chuck Norris invented a game called hid and go peek

You cant fool Chuck Norris he'll kill u

Whoever hates Chuck Norris is dead in 40 seconds. If one that hates Chuck Norris changed his/her mind then Chuck Norris will teleport to the hater and punch him/her in the back and his/her spine will crack. Don't mess with Chuck Norris

some say that Chuck Norris can see his own forehead

some macians can walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim through land

When Chuck Norris died so did the music, so Chuck Norris gave music a round house kick to the head, music has never died since

gravity is not curvedness of scace and time.its just a Chuck Norris chasing texas badass dudes

Lil wayne is single because of Chuck Norris

In his spare time Chuck Norris likes to practice roundhouse kicks in corn fields, This is why we have crop circles!

we all know that the hulk is green..with envy, because he knows Chuck Norris can kick his fucking ass

Chuck Norris breaks the 2nd law of thermodynamics every time he cleans his house.

when Chuck Norris claps the sun goes out.

Chuck Norris doesn't go to the bathroom, the bathroom goes to Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris once beat the entire New York jets football team by himself. And every play he ran was a punt!

Mr johnson is the only one who can overtake Chuck Norris in a moped race. Chuck Norris then dropkicked him continusly and killed him.

if you shoot Chuck Norris, the bullet dies

Chuck Norris can order from the kids menu

Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick cures the common cold. its to bad nobody has ever survived one of his kicks before.

Once upon a time, Chuck Norris lives happily ever after

One time Chuck Norris ran backwards so fast he reversed time, not possible eh well try this martin luther king jr. getting hit in the head with a brick.....twice sound familiur welll its not but try telling Chuck Norris that.

Chuck Norris went on a hike up mount st helens on may 18 1980. then he had to take a dump...

when Chuck Norris plays madden 2012 he plays on all-chuck

it's easier to fight the death than to fight Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris once made an egg lay a chicken.

on hot summer days, Chuck Norris enjoys a nice cold glass of liquid nitrogen

people hits pinnate with a stick, Chuck Norris hits pinnate with a flamingo

Chuck Norris won the tour de france... on an exercise bike.

when you hear a fire truck siren, its not because they are going to put out a fire... but in fact, they are delivering Chuck Norris' pizza and wings

school didnt teach Chuck Norris he taught school

Chuck Norris can create life with play-doh and a battery

in soviet russia, Chuck Norris still kicks but!

Jesus may have walked on water but Chuck Norris swam through land

Chuck Norris was originally cast in the hit fil taken but he got his daughter back before the end of the opening scene

Bitcoin went up when Chuck Norris bought some. Not because of market dynamics — the blockchain was just too afraid to lose his money.

Chuck Norris can pick an apple out of a basket full of oranges

the grim reaper once was on Chuck Norris' door step. after he knocked, Chuck Norris said "who is it" the reaper responded "death" Chuck Norris chuckled and replied "no its not! I am death!" and proceeded to round house kick the reaper to death

Chuck Norris does not cut his grass,he simply dares it to grow

Santa was real that is til he forgot Chuck Norris' christmas present.

if you play stairway to the stars backward, you can hear Chuck Norris bangin your sister lol

freddie krugar has nightmares about Chuck Norris

Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can run.

Chuck Norris ate concrete and shit out a brick

God and Chuck Norris were once playing chess together. But then they got bored and Chuck thought of something called martial arts. thats why God always sends down people to earth instead of himself. guess he didn't love Jesus. huh.

Chuck Norris makes a line have to shit

Compared to Chuck Norris the rock is a pebble.

Chuck Norris' beard is sexier than lmfao

When Chuck Norris was born people called him Chucky

Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum balls. he chews bowling balls.

the only reason Mexican cartel doesn't come to united states is bacause they're afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can play Xbox-Live on his wii... with a broken ps3 controller.

heres a list of things Chuck Norris cant do :

When god create Chuck Norris, god not exist anymore

meteors, there is no such thing those are the victims that being roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris taught birds how to fly

If Chuck Norris was president, we wouldn't have any wars, everyone would be badass, and there would be no more military. Chuck Norris is enough

School busses stop for Chuck Norris

jesus did not make Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris made jesus

if curiosity killed the cat, Chuck Norris reincarnated it

Chuck Norris don't do titty twist, he rip your nipple off

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked somebody into outer space...and died

once Chuck Norris had a choice between wireless or road runner so instead he went for the Chuck Norris internet

Chuck Norris dosent need love, Chuck Norris is love.

did u know Chuck Norris looks like he has red hair..... so all the people he has killed or beaten i just want to say that u got beat up by a GINGER.

Chuck Norris once made an ass out of himself on national TV, So the Legend of Chuck Norris exploded from the internet and beat him to death on national TV, showing that not even Chuck Norris is safe from Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris beat gravity to the bottom

Chuck Norris went to Ihop for pizza

evertime Chuck Norris farts a city is destoryed

Chuck Norris can spike a volly ball... under handed

david copper field can turn a $1 bill into $100. but Chuck Norris can turn david copperfield into the u.s. tresury

Chuck Norris did not celebrate the new year, just as we don't celebrate the second

Chuck Norris has a bear in his room it isint dead its to afraid to move.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked micheal jackson so hard he flew across earth and came back white with his hair burning :)

when alexander gram bell inveted the first phone he already had 2 missed calls from Chuck Norris

the last words heard by many kids in Chuck Norris' 1st grade P.E. class was "tag your IT"

The three blind mice once saw Chuck Norris.

when a cop pulls over Chuck Norris for drinking and driving the cop is just making shur that he doesnt spill his beer.

Chuck Norris doesnt flush the toilet he scares the shit out of it

Chuck Norris's mother left before he was born

Chuck Norris chopped an axe with a tree

I caught my girlfriend cheating on me with Chuck Norris. It was the most beautiful thing I'd seen in my life

Chuck Norris killed osama bin laden, he roundhoused the bullt through his skull!

Chuck Norris invented rap when his heart started beating

Goons, thugs, assasins, and maniacs wanna be called Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can kill you in your sleep even if you're wide awake.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep on beds beds sleeps on Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris is so strong that he can chew water

mortal kombat is not a video game, it is a home video of Chuck Norris's 5th birthday party

once Chunk norris got a wireless box and as a result never piss Chuck Norris

the movie "contagion" is a movie about what would happen if Chuck Norris ever to sneezed.

Chuck Norris doesnt use bullets for ammo, he uses pills for ammo

Chuck Norris entered the dragon from behind

Chuck Norris didnt quit smoking smoking quit Chuck Norris

If u see Chuck Norris you should run,if u can see the bottom of his shoe its to late!

Those closest to Chuck Norris will tell u that umm......well they would tell u much because the closest anybody has ever gotten to him is 650 yards.