All Chuck Norris Facts
8,592 legendary facts and counting. Page 2 of 86.
If rocky had the eye of the tiger the tiger had the eye of Chuck Norris... Unfortunately Chuck Norris rip the tigers eye due to his unworthyness..
Chuck Norris is the name of happiness. When you Go to bed at night. Think about how much Chuck Norris would be alive if he was dead.
Chuck Norris just looks at him..
The police once clocked Chuck Norris doing 100 mph while walking to the corner store.
Trinkle trinkle little star, how Chuck Norris knows where you are.
Chuck Norris once killed a rabbit with a piece of paper.
Chuck Norris can put 14000 songs on a 1gb iPod.
Chuck Norris can flip a pan using a pancake.
When Chuck Norris makes a play on words, it becomes a Broadway hit.
Chuck Norris can make a cheeseburger without cheese.
Chuck Norris invented a game called hid and go peek.
You can't fool Chuck Norris he'll kill u.
Whoever hates Chuck Norris is dead in 40 seconds. If one that hates Chuck Norris changed his/her mind then Chuck Norris will teleport to the hater and punch him/her in the back and his/her spine will crack. Don't mess with Chuck Norris.
Some say that Chuck Norris can see his own forehead.
Some macians can walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim through land.
When Chuck Norris died so did the music, so Chuck Norris gave music a round house kick to the head, music has never died since.
Gravity is not curvedness of scace and time.it's just a Chuck Norris chasing Texas badass dudes.
Lil Wayne is single because of Chuck Norris.
In his spare time Chuck Norris likes to practice roundhouse kicks in corn fields, This is why we have crop circles!
Chuck Norris breaks the 2nd law of thermodynamics every time he cleans his house.
When Chuck Norris claps the sun goes out.
Chuck Norris doesn't go to the bathroom. The bathroom goes to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once beat the entire New York Jets football team by himself. And every play he ran was a punt!
Mr Johnson is the only one who can overtake Chuck Norris in a moped race. Chuck Norris then dropkicked him continuously and killed him.
If you shoot Chuck Norris, the bullet dies.
Chuck Norris can order from the kids' menu.
Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick cures the common cold. It's to bad nobody has ever survived one of his kicks before.
Once upon a time, Chuck Norris lives happily ever after.
One time Chuck Norris ran backwards so fast he reversed time, not possible eh well try this Martin Luther King Jr. Getting hit in the head with a brick.....twice sound familiur well it's not but try telling Chuck Norris that.
Chuck Norris went on a hike up Mount St. Helens on May 18, 1980. Then he had to take a dump...
When Chuck Norris plays madden 2012 he plays on all-chuck.
It's easier to fight the death than to fight Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once made an egg lay a chicken.
On hot summer days, Chuck Norris enjoys a nice cold glass of liquid nitrogen.
People hits pinnate with a stick, Chuck Norris hits pinnate with a flamingo.
Chuck Norris won the Tour de France... on an exercise bike.
When you hear a fire truck siren, it's not because they are going to put out a fire... but in fact, they are delivering Chuck Norris' pizza and wings.
School didn't teach Chuck Norris he taught school.
Chuck Norris can create life with play-doh and a battery.
In soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still kicks but!
Jesus may have walked on water but Chuck Norris swam through land.
Chuck Norris was originally cast in the hit fil taken but he got his daughter back before the end of the opening scene.
Bitcoin went up when Chuck Norris bought some. Not because of market dynamics — the blockchain was just too afraid to lose his money.
Chuck Norris can pick an apple out of a basket full of oranges.
The grim reaper once was on Chuck Norris' door step. After he knocked, Chuck Norris said "who is it" the reaper responded "death" Chuck Norris chuckled and replied "no its not! I am death!" and proceeded to round house kick the reaper to death.
Chuck Norris does not cut his grass. He simply dares it to grow.
Santa was real that is til he forgot Chuck Norris' Christmas present.
If you play stairway to the stars backward, you can hear Chuck Norris bangin your sister lol.
Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
Jesus can walk on water. Chuck Norris can run.
God and Chuck Norris were once playing chess together. But then they got bored and Chuck thought of something called martial arts. That's why God always sends down people to earth instead of himself. Guess he didn't love Jesus. Huh.
Compared to Chuck Norris the rock is a pebble.
Chuck Norris' beard is sexier than lmfao.
When Chuck Norris was born people called him Chucky.
Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum balls. He chews bowling balls.
The only reason Mexican cartel doesn't come to United States is because they're afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can play Xbox-Live on his Wii... with a broken PS3 controller.
Heres a list of things Chuck Norris cant do:
When God create Chuck Norris, God not exist anymore.
Meteors, there is no such thing those are the victims that being roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris taught birds how to fly.
If Chuck Norris was president, we wouldn't have any wars, everyone would be badass, and there would be no more military. Chuck Norris is enough.
School busses stop for Chuck Norris.
Jesus did not make Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris made Jesus.
If curiosity killed the cat, Chuck Norris reincarnated it.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked somebody into outer space... and died.
Once Chuck Norris had a choice between wireless or road runner so instead he went for the Chuck Norris internet.
Chuck Norris doesn't need love. Chuck Norris is love.
Did u know Chuck Norris looks like he has red hair..... so all the people he has killed or beaten I just want to say that u got beat up by a GINGER.
Chuck Norris once made an ass out of himself on national TV, So the Legend of Chuck Norris exploded from the internet and beat him to death on national TV, showing that not even Chuck Norris is safe from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris beat gravity to the bottom.
Chuck Norris went to IHOP for pizza.
Every time Chuck Norris farts a city is destroyed.
Chuck Norris can spike a volly ball... under handed.
David copper field can turn a $1 bill into $100. But Chuck Norris can turn David Copperfield into the U.S. tresury.
Chuck Norris did not celebrate the new year, just as we don't celebrate the second.
Chuck Norris has a bear in his room it isn't dead it's too afraid to move.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Michael Jackson so hard he flew across earth and came back white with his hair burning :).
When Alexander gram bell invented the first phone he already had 2 missed calls from Chuck Norris.
The last words heard by many kids in Chuck Norris' 1st grade P.E. class was "tag your IT".
The three blind mice once saw Chuck Norris.
When a cop pulls over Chuck Norris for drinking and driving the cop is just making shur that he doesn't spill his beer.
Chuck Norris's mother left before he was born.
Chuck Norris chopped an axe with a tree.
I caught my girlfriend cheating on me with Chuck Norris. It was the most beautiful thing I'd seen in my life.
Chuck Norris killed Osama bin Laden. He roundhoused the bullt through his skull!
Chuck Norris invented rap when his heart started beating.
Goons, thugs, assassins, and maniacs wanna be called Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can kill you in your sleep even if you're wide awake.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep on beds. Beds sleep on Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is so strong that he can chew water.
Mortal Kombat is not a video game. It is a home video of Chuck Norris's 5th birthday party.
Once Chuck Norris got a wireless box and as a result never piss Chuck Norris.
The movie "contagion" is a movie about what would happen if Chuck Norris ever sneezed.
Chuck Norris doesn't use bullets for ammo. He uses pills for ammo.
Chuck Norris entered the dragon from behind.
Chuck Norris didn't quit smoking. Smoking quit Chuck Norris.
If u see Chuck Norris you should run, if u can see the bottom of his shoe its to late!
Those closest to Chuck Norris will tell u that umm......well they would tell u much because the closest anybody has ever gotten to him is 650 yards.
Abe Lincoln may have freed the slaves but Chuck Norris is everyone's master.