🥋 General Facts

Chuck Norris is the reason why Mexicans cross the border.

Chuck Norris can sing Bohemian Rhapsody with his farts.

There is no such thing as mud-slides. Chuck Norris just had some indigestion from last nights bean burrito.

U know how there r UFO sightings those aren't UFO's those r frisbees Chuck Norris threw.

The power level for Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is infinity.

Alien vs predator was originally called aliens and predator vs Chuck Norris but nobody would pay 9 dollars to see a movie 14 seconds long.

Chuck Norris doesn't kill immortals they decide it's safer in hell.

Chuck Norris once killed a boulder with his bare hands.

Chuck Norris was the first super sayian.

If you stab Chuck Norris with a knife, the knife bleeds..

Chuck Norris has won the FIFA World Cup 5 times with his game face alone.

Chuck Norris doesn't have to pray to the gods. The gods pray to Chuck Norris.

Cigarettes stay away from Chuck Norris cos when he smokes them he not only gives them cancer, but AIDS as well.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T were playing a game of tic-tac-toe, and Mr. T won. In retaliation, Chuck Norris created racism.

If God named Peter the Rock for brave, the Chuck Norris named Chris Rock because he is dumbass.

Chuck Norris once won an arm wrestling match, with both hands tied behind his back.

I don't care how you, anyone you know, or anyone in general, Chuck Norris is the reason.

Dennys is always open because Chuck Norris can't cook.

The reason no one has found tupacs and notorious bigs killers are because it was Chuck Norris who killed them.

When Chuck Norris run with scissors, the scissors get hurt.

Martial arts learned Chuck Norris.

In the movie dodgeball when Chuck Norris gave the thumbs up all bets were off for stiller...... Chuck Norris cannot tell a lie.

Every time you say: "Chuck Norris"... Chuck Norris says you.

Jagger moves like Chuck Norris.

Somebody once witnessed Chuck Norris saw a mans head clean off, with a pillow!

When God said let there be light, Chuck Norris said ill think about it.

The only thing what can beat Chuck Norris is his MOM.

Chuck Norris gives three wishes to a genie.

Chuck Norris can put on his shoes and tie them with his toes.

Chuck Norris can shoot you from three miles away with a piano.

Today, Chuck Norris salutes the men and women who served our nation!

Chuck Norris does not fear cancer. Cancer fears Chuck Norris.

If a tree falls in the forest and Chuck Norris is around does he make a sound when he is killing your family.

When you pay taxes, you don't pay them to the government. You are actually paying Chuck Norris not to kill you for living on the same land mass as him.

One time while hunting deer, Chuck Norris made a kill shot from 300 yards. No big deal u say? His weapon of choice was a squirt gun.

MacGyver can make a plane with only a paper clip and a shoe string not to be out done Chuck Norris made a jet fighter plane out of MacGyver.

Hurricanes, tornados, etc. are caused by Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking the wind.

I've heard that Chuck Norris can appear and kill anyone before they can say anything negative about him whatsoever, but even I have a hard time believing that, I mean, not even Chuck Norris could....

Chuck Norris doesn't say hi he says bye.

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris does.

Chuck Norris heard silence talking.

Chuck Norris's kicks are so fast ..you probably wouldn't feel it till yesterday.

Chuck Norris created Facebook so that he can track everyone on the planet.

Why did the chicken cross the road.....it didn't Chuck Norris threw it.

Chuck Norris doesn't drink coffee, coffee drinks Chuck Norris, because everyone knows coffee needs to wake the hell up.

When ppl sleep they count Chuck Norris.

Austin Staggs once beat up Chuck Norris.

The reason nobody can find Bigfoot is because is because Chuck Norris found him first.

Chuck Norris told the United States that Russia was goin to nuc them during the Cold War.

Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.

Thanksgiving was not made to thank the Indians. It was made to thank Chuck Norris that he didn't kill them when they whizzed on his lawn.

It's called the Chuck Norris roundhouse kick because it's delivered by Chuck Norris and when it strikes you, your head spins around and then you fly into a house.

Chuck Norris invented piles as a way to keep people from sitting on his chair.

The fact is that giraffes weren't made from centuries of evolution. They just say that be chuck is powa. The fact is that giraffes were made when Chuck Norris upper cutted a horse.

You know how eyes are windows to the soul? Well if you have a staring contest with Chuck Norris he'll suck out your soul.

Out of sheer boredom, Chuck Norris once stabbed an elephant to death, with a toothpick!

If a black cat crosses your path, you have bad luck. If Chuck Norris crosses your path, it was nice knowing you.

Chuck Norris doesn't commit susicide, susicide commits him.

When Chuck Norris owns an Xbox 360 It never had the three rings of death because it's afraid of Chuck Norris.

I don't know why people treat Chuck Norris like he's a killer he has the heart of a child which isa bad thing.

Chuck Norris the reason why Jason Bourne can't remember his identity.

The fountain of youth is actually Chuck Norris' lavatory.

The high tide occurs when Chuck Norris flies over the beach. The rising water is where God pees his pants.

Chuck Norris can leave the door open at night cause no one messes with Chuck Norris.

People can glow in the dark.....Chuck Norris can glow in the light.

Chuck Norris can bring a bike to a monster truck show.

The popular videogame "DOOM" is loosely based around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Chuck Norris and forgot to pay him back.

Chuck Norris got the most kills in a battle ground without no pvp gear or weapon.

You'll never grasp the true form of Chuck Norris' attack.

When Chuck Norris lost his ring he made he commanded SADAKU to retrieve it.

Only you can prevent forest fires, only Chuck Norris can prevent roundhouse kicks..he just doesn't try.

Chuck Norris once finished a whole cake, before his friends told him there was a stripper in it.

The reason they found water on Mars is because Chuck Norris round house kicked it in the face.

Geico saved 15% by switching to Chuck Norris.

The 300 Spartans would have not stood a chance against the pesians if Chuck Norris had not let them use the "total gym".

Some said there is nothing to fear but fear itself. What he really meant was there is nothing to fear but Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris doesn't pay the rent, he evicts his owner.

Chuck Norris lit a cigarette with an ice cube.

Chuck Norris can hunt a bear with his beard tied behind his back.

Chuck Norris once dug a hole all the way to the moon.

Ghosts are scard of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can play Xbox Live on PS3.

Chuck Norris can take the square root of a negative number.

Chuck Norris eats testoster O's for breakfast every morning.

Chuck Norris once had diarrhea. He shat karate.

Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen, oxygen needs Chuck Norris.

Stand 1 inch from Chuck Norris face-to-face, and he can still kick u in the top of the head!

As a child, Chuck Norris used to enjoy making shapes in sandboxes. We call them pyramids.

Stars wish upon a Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't get poisoned by a cobra. The cobra gets poisoned by Chuck Norris.

A king cobra once bit Chuck Norris... after 5 days of terrible pain... the snake died.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if the woodchuck was Chuck Norris... all of it... and them some.

Celibacy took a vow of Chuck Norris.

The concept of 0 was created after a battle against the Romans and the Greeks. The Romans had Chuck Norris on there side, so when the battle was over and they counted the dead there were no Greeks left, then the concept of 0 was born.

Chuck Norris can give water a bath.

When Chuck Norris sat for his HSC, he received a band 7 in al his subjects.

Here is a short list of things Chuck Norris can't do: Die.

The reason they couldn't find any oil after the gulf oil spill is because Chuck Norris wanted to prove to the world that he could mix oil and water.

Chuck Norris is so accurate he can shoot a bullet through the scope of a gun... the scope of the gun he just shot the bullet from.

Chuck Norris can play angry birds, listen to music and watch movies on a pay-phone... and all for free.