🥋 General Facts

Santa was real that is til he forgot Chuck Norris' Christmas present.

If you play stairway to the stars backward, you can hear Chuck Norris bangin your sister lol.

Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.

Jesus can walk on water. Chuck Norris can run.

God and Chuck Norris were once playing chess together. But then they got bored and Chuck thought of something called martial arts. That's why God always sends down people to earth instead of himself. Guess he didn't love Jesus. Huh.

Compared to Chuck Norris the rock is a pebble.

Chuck Norris' beard is sexier than lmfao.

When Chuck Norris was born people called him Chucky.

Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum balls. He chews bowling balls.

The only reason Mexican cartel doesn't come to United States is because they're afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can play Xbox-Live on his Wii... with a broken PS3 controller.

Heres a list of things Chuck Norris cant do:

When God create Chuck Norris, God not exist anymore.

Meteors, there is no such thing those are the victims that being roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris taught birds how to fly.

If Chuck Norris was president, we wouldn't have any wars, everyone would be badass, and there would be no more military. Chuck Norris is enough.

School busses stop for Chuck Norris.

Jesus did not make Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris made Jesus.

If curiosity killed the cat, Chuck Norris reincarnated it.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked somebody into outer space... and died.

Once Chuck Norris had a choice between wireless or road runner so instead he went for the Chuck Norris internet.

Chuck Norris doesn't need love. Chuck Norris is love.

Did u know Chuck Norris looks like he has red hair..... so all the people he has killed or beaten I just want to say that u got beat up by a GINGER.

Chuck Norris once made an ass out of himself on national TV, So the Legend of Chuck Norris exploded from the internet and beat him to death on national TV, showing that not even Chuck Norris is safe from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris beat gravity to the bottom.

Chuck Norris went to IHOP for pizza.

Every time Chuck Norris farts a city is destroyed.

Chuck Norris can spike a volly ball... under handed.

David copper field can turn a $1 bill into $100. But Chuck Norris can turn David Copperfield into the U.S. tresury.

Chuck Norris did not celebrate the new year, just as we don't celebrate the second.

Chuck Norris has a bear in his room it isn't dead it's too afraid to move.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Michael Jackson so hard he flew across earth and came back white with his hair burning :).

When Alexander gram bell invented the first phone he already had 2 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

The last words heard by many kids in Chuck Norris' 1st grade P.E. class was "tag your IT".

The three blind mice once saw Chuck Norris.

When a cop pulls over Chuck Norris for drinking and driving the cop is just making shur that he doesn't spill his beer.

Chuck Norris's mother left before he was born.

Chuck Norris chopped an axe with a tree.

I caught my girlfriend cheating on me with Chuck Norris. It was the most beautiful thing I'd seen in my life.

Chuck Norris killed Osama bin Laden. He roundhoused the bullt through his skull!

Chuck Norris invented rap when his heart started beating.

Goons, thugs, assassins, and maniacs wanna be called Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can kill you in your sleep even if you're wide awake.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep on beds. Beds sleep on Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is so strong that he can chew water.

Mortal Kombat is not a video game. It is a home video of Chuck Norris's 5th birthday party.

Once Chuck Norris got a wireless box and as a result never piss Chuck Norris.

The movie "contagion" is a movie about what would happen if Chuck Norris ever sneezed.

Chuck Norris doesn't use bullets for ammo. He uses pills for ammo.

Chuck Norris entered the dragon from behind.

Chuck Norris didn't quit smoking. Smoking quit Chuck Norris.

If u see Chuck Norris you should run, if u can see the bottom of his shoe its to late!

Those closest to Chuck Norris will tell u that umm......well they would tell u much because the closest anybody has ever gotten to him is 650 yards.

Abe Lincoln may have freed the slaves but Chuck Norris is everyone's master.

Chuck Norris is so fast that he can use the Earth's rotation as a treadmill.

'Lizards use to be dinosaurs, until Chuck Norris kicked the height outta them'.

Chuck Norris didn't ask Jesus to forgive him for his sins he simply apologized for giving Jesus's dad so many dead customers.

In the dictionary, the word "redundant" has a picture of Chuck Norris wearing a bulletproof vest....

Chuck Norris is such a beast that when he punches you in the face you fight the urge not to thank him.

Chuck Norris killed you if you read this.

When Chuck Norris is in the mood for seafood... he enjoys fresh caught Kracken!!!!

Chuck Norris decided to sell his poop as a food product ... we know it now as wheaties.

Chuck Norris doesn't have to milk cows. They milk themselves because they were scared of Chuck Norris.

Once Chuck Norris stared down a skittle and it was so scared it pooped its pants and became an M&M. Now al they do is place a picture of Chuck Norris at the end of the Machine line and vualaa.. M&M's patented formula.

Chuck Norris was model once a time..his measurements was 90-60-90.but upon a time he found roundhousekick and gain lots of muscles.

The imitation to Chuck Norris fighting style is kung fu.

Chuck Norris bought a whole chicken and ate only its soul.

The Mayans predict that theend of the world will come when Chuck Norris dies on Dec. 23, 2012.

The Atlantic space shuttle exploded because it wasn't made of Chuck Norris beard.

The question be or not to be was made by Chuck Norris when he shashed Bruce Lee so much that he couldn't find anythink left from him.

Chuck Norris runs until the treadmill gets tired.

Coyote vs road runner is just a performance how fast can Chuck Norris bip-iping.

Chuck Norris does turn lights on. He turns dark off!

Why is Chuck Norris living with us and not in other galaxy? He likes fresh meat.

The end of the world will be when Chuck Norris will punch himself.

The referee was afraid to call a foul on Chuck Norris Because Chuck Norris can do worse than what he already did.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a guard dog a guard dog needs him.

Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his own hands.

When Chuck Norris go's on the tea cups at theme parks, he gives the cup whiplash.

Chuck Norris listens to his music in 4D.

Chuck Norris will find you and he will kill you gatlin.

When Chuck Norris bowls he does it over hand.

Chuck Norris beat the sun at a staring contest.

After Chuck Norris eats a large meal, he literally burns of the calories.

Chuck Norris had to stop setting his phone to vibrate. The earthquakes where killing people.

Chuck Norris has wings — on his balls ... of steel.

Chuck Norris can season his steaks with pepperspray.

People add inches to their biceps by using dumbbells; people add a foot to their bicep submitting Chuck Norris facts.

As I was climbing the stairway to heaven I saw Chuck Norris crapping on one of the steps.

Chuck Norris ones fought Chuck Norris. The world exploded the only person that survived was Chuck Norris no one kills Chuck Norris!!!

Chuck Norris invented roundhouse kicking season.

Chuck Norris can eat a lemon with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris played a game of ping-pong with the wall.... and won.

Chuck Norris can put a fruit pastel in his mouth without chewing it.

If someone where to shoot you Chuck Norris could come out of nowhere kill you 5 times and kill the guy who shoots for trying to take his kill before the bullets even left the barrel.

The more Chuck Norris facts you submit the better your chance of going to heaven.

As a kid Chuck Norris carried out over 11 successful scuicide bombing missions for the U.S. military... the most well known was his attack Hiroshima.

Why isn't Pisa straight up? I think it is Chuck Norris who....

The meteor in Russia was caused by Chuck Norris punching the asteroid.

Chuck Norris doesn't nead a gun he just neads a bullet and someone to make him angry.