🥋 General Facts

Chuck Norris was originally cast in the hit film taken but he got his daughter back before the end of the opening scene.

When Chuck Norris was on the electric chair and was asked his last words he said "hit the switch and start praying".

A black mamba once bit Chuck Norris... and died.

The last person to survive a roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris was Michael Jackson. Then he turned white.

Chuck Norris won the world jump roping championships, and as a literal handicap, he did it in a wheelchair. Next year he plans to try it on crutches!

Chuck Norris eats steel and craps samurai swords, which he throws away because Chuck Norris don't need weapons for mass destruction.

Chuck Norris can ride a motor without the cycle.

The time was afraid to go by fast because it didn't wanna be ahead of Chuck Norris.

The first terminator was sent back to kill Chuck Norris. Obviously that didn't work out.

Georg bush was left-handed right findered Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris smashed microsofsts window.

Dylan Hallmark beat Chuck Norris up.

The police don't escort Chuck Norris Chuck Norris escorts the police.

Chuck Norris once ate a pound of crystal meth. It made him flinch.

They can only measure the speed of light because it is exactly half the speed of Chuck Norris' fists.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble you win... forever.

We pray for God. God prays for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once won American idle by riding a unicycle.

Jesus once walked on water. Chuck Norris once swam on land.

By reading this you have given Chuck Norris brief control over your mind.

A blind man once walked in to Chuck Norris. Chuck said do you know who I am I'm Chuck Norris. The mere mention of his name cured his blindness but sadly the first last and only thing he saw was a deadly round house kick to the face.

In soivet Russia Ian's (Smosh) pizza eats Ian and Anthony. SMOSHTIME WITH LUNCH Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can watch t.v... on a chalk board.

When Chuck Norris leaves a good first impression, 9 chances out of 10, it's usually the sole of his boot on their face.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? Woodchucks are now extinct.

World War II happened because Chuck Norris took a nap.

There's: 1st degree burns 2nd degree burns 3rd degree burns and Chuck Norris degree burn other words dust.

When Chuck Norris asks for change for a penny, he always gets it.

Chuck Norris won an arm wrestling contest with both hands tied behind his back.

Chuck Norris can speak Russian in French... on his fiddle.

Chuck Norris can make pigs fly.

If you try to slap Chuck Norris he won't feel it.

What goes around comes around. What goes around Chuck Norris gets a roundhouse kick and never comes around.

Chuck Norris cut off his own legs then walked it off.

Chuck Norris once helped an old lady across the street. When a car did not stop, he roundhoused kicked it thus creating the first mini. When the old lady thanked him he roundhoused kicked her for good measure.

On Facebook Chuck Norris is friends with the whole world. Everyone likes his status!

A black hole ones attempted to suck in Chuck Norris but instead Chuck Norris sucked in the black hole.

Chuck Norris whas put on the cover of National Geographic as the leading cause of death in Africa.

Many people believe in God. God believes in Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris smelly breath is so strong that he can demolish a house just by breathing on it.

Chuck Norris can take the square root of a negative number on a calculator without an error sign appearing on the screen.

Chuck Norris does not kick doors in. They are backing away from him!

The only time Chuck Norris got scared is wen he looked at him self in the mirror.

Chuck Norris doesn't have to have a no solicating sign on his door. He just pee's around the door and salesmen know to leave as fast as they can or they will have 5 sec left to live.

Darwins theory of evolution ape animal caveman human Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can catch a train. I feel sorry for the person who has to throw it to him.

Davey Jones goes to Chuck Norris' locker.

Chuck Norris ate a brownie once.

When the grim reaper dies he sees Chuck Norris standing there telling him to" come into the light".

One day as a joke Chuck Norris peed in a truck, today we know that truck as optimums prime.

Don't sneak up on Chuck Norris while takin a piss.

Chuck Norris once entered a drinking contest and one by drink everything in 1 second.

A few years back, Chuck Norris went into the bissnuss of bottling, and selling his pis, we now know this product as redbull.

Chuck Norris' parents are named after him.

Chuck Norris can eat only one lays chip, and walk away.

When Chuck Norris was born people called him "hucky.

Freddie crougar once impersonated Chuck Norris and that is the reason why we have nightmares.

The idea for the movie SAW was based off of the accounts of people who went into Chuck Norris' room when he was a kid.

Chuck Norris once nearly drowned an ocean in a fit of rage.

What has 4 teeth and 100 legs? The front row of the Collingwood cheersquad. Why? Because Chuck Norris barracks for st. kilda.

The movie "anaconda" was shot in Chuck Norris' underwear.

God created Jesus-Chuck Norris created God.

When ever Chuck Norris enters a room the song "final count down" begins to play, followed shortly by a roundhouse kick to your face.

Chuck Norris got a wouman preginet justby looking at her.

Chuck Norris once drank so many beers he caused prohibition.

When Chuck Norris goes to McDonald's he turns everyone into an unhappy meal.

Chuck Norris can make journey stop believin.

The big bad wolf could not blow down the brick house. Chuck Norris simply held out his fist and the house exploded.

When Chuck Norris went to Burger King he asked for a big mac, one minute later they gave him one.

Chuck Norris was in school and got an f later that day he broke every bone in his body.

Chuck Norris knows the wrong way to eat a reeses.

When the incredible hulk gets mad, he turns to Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris didn't audition for Walker Texas Ranger he made da producers audition to film his life.

Chuck almighty Chuck Norris: you're not woth it Chuck Norris doesn't go to Iceland.

Wile hiking in the mountains, Chuck Norris came face to face with a bear. So to avoid be attacked and killed the bear played dead.

Chuck Norris can kill Godzilla by saying roar.

Chuck Norris can start a fire with water.

People can screw in a light bulb Chuck Norris can screw a light bulb.

The United Nations has known for many years that Chuck Norris contains weapons of mass destruction, but NOBODY enters Chuck Norris!

Every hockey game Chuck Norris played goalie he's never been scored on.

Once upon a time Chuck Norris seen a mime"hello" said Chuck. The mime didn't answer so he round house kicked him to death.

Chuck Norris pops his own pimples with a gun.

Everyone hideson Chuck Norris's birthday even God.

Y Bruce Lee defeated himjust because he was fighting against Chuck Norris shadow. We know, Chuck Norris can jump over shadow.

Wil murphy slapped Chuck Norris.

When David belfirst first invented the telephone there were 2 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

The direction of the wind is determined by which way Chuck Norris' but is facing.

God and Satan go to the Chuck Norris church every Sunday.

When Chuck Norris saw God it was like looking in the mirror.

Chuck Norris taught man how to make the wheel.

Chuck Norris won a bowling tournament with a bow and arrow.

Chuck Norris used a hatchet to remove a fly from his friend's forehead.

When Chuck Norris wants to eat an egg, the chicken lays an omelette for him.

Chuck Norris once played pokemon black, caught a lvl 0 Magikarp and beat the whole game.

Chuck Norris is the only person who does not crap when eating general tsos chicken.

Chuck Norris plays darts using sharpend babys.

Chuck Norris can shut a revolving door.

If the impossible happens and Chuck Norris dies then the world will be covered with darkness.

Chuck Norris can change the font of a dot.

Mumbai streets are flooded again. Why is Chuck Norris crying today?