All Chuck Norris Facts
8,874 legendary facts and counting. Page 82 of 89.
Chuck Norris had his cake, and ate it too, then ate everyone elses
Chuck Norris says: Ima Firin Mah Lazor Shoop-de-woop yo ass
Chuck Norris built his home with his bare feet
Chuck Norris once put a forest fire out by spitting on it.
Chuck Norris doesn't beat people up he looks at them they get scared and fight their self to the death
Chuck Norris can jump rope with steel pipe. OH he also plays frisbee golf with discuss!
Chuck Norris ass can make his farts sound like a beautiful symphony
Chuck Norris won the daytona 500 in a flintstone car
Chuck Norris can turn invisible by daring light to hit him.
Chuck Norris knows wat sign language sounds like.
Chuck Norris killed 37 terrorist with 2 bullets,the first was a warning shot!
Chuck Norris can copy/paste the text from a captcha.
When Chuck Norris get bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns in to Chuck Norris.
Don't try Chuck Norris at home
You can't spell Love without L O, you can't spell is without I S, you can't spell SILO without LOIS. Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris pressed his hands into the Hollywood Walk of Fame the concrete was already dry.
Chuck Norris is the reason the Moon keeps its distance from Earth.
When Chuck Norris wants popcorn he breathes on the world's cornfields.
Chuck Norris can see his own eyes without a mirror.
And on the seventh day God said: Here is Chuck Norris. And all rejoiced. Except those who received the first roundhouse kicks in human history.
If the apple had fallen on Chuck Norris's head there would be no gravity. Or apples.
The first law of thermodynamics says energy cannot be created or destroyed. That is until it meets Chuck Norris.
Sometimes Chuck Norris decides to look closely at the sun. Scientists call this an eclipse.
Chuck Norris does not see dead people. He makes dead people.
Chuck Norris eats uranium tablets as an appetite stimulant.
Chuck Norris never shouts. The voices around him gather and shout on his behalf.
Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know except the definition of mercy.
Chuck Norris needed only one roundhouse kick to split Bruce Lee in two. The result was Jet Li and Jackie Chan.
When Chuck Norris was a child his parents gave him a toy hammer. That is how the world got Stonehenge.
When Chuck Norris works out the equipment gets stronger.
We all know the magic word is please as in Please do not kill me. Too bad Chuck Norris does not believe in magic.
Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.
If they called Chuck Norris to solve everything in the show 24, it would be a 24-second show.
Chuck Norris makes water flow upstream.
Bigfoot takes photos of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can perform photosynthesis without sunlight.
In an act of extreme philanthropy Chuck Norris made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6000 bodies for scientific research.
Chuck Norris turned down James Bond's job because he refused to be known as double zero anything.
Chuck Norris does not use a telephone. He just uses his voice.
If Chuck Norris ever fought himself in a time paradox, he would win.
Chuck Norris uses an axe to cut his fingernails.
When you see Chuck Norris he disappears. When Chuck Norris sees you, you disappear.
Chuck Norris's watermelons have no seeds. The seeds shrink and disappear from fear.
Chuck Norris uses a magnifying glass to kill ants. At night.
At the end of a prayer Chuck Norris does not say Amen. He says: Understood?
Chuck Norris does not vote. He decides.
A TsuNorris happens whenever Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the ocean. A tsunami happens when he merely steps in.
Chuck Norris's toast never falls buttered side down. It just floats.
Chuck Norris can inhale helium and his voice still gets deeper.
Someone once told Chuck Norris that lizard legs were delicious. That is how snakes were created.
In ancient China there was a legend that a child born of a dragon would rid the Earth of all evil. Chuck Norris killed that man.
Chuck Norris is the only man who has literally broken records. With his fists.
Through six degrees of separation Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick anyone anywhere at any time.
Chuck Norris does not predict the future. The future simply does what Chuck Norris says.
When you say nobody is perfect Chuck Norris takes it as a personal insult.
The first rule of Chuck Norris is: never talk about Chuck Norris.
Sea sponges can regenerate from a single piece. Chuck Norris can too, he just never needed to.
If Chuck Norris were Brazilian, Argentina would not exist.
Chuck Norris has never had a surprise birthday party. Nobody surprises Chuck Norris.
In the beginning there were 8 deadly sins until Chuck Norris had his name removed from the list.
Chuck Norris stopped tossing popcorn into his mouth. The Moon was getting too many craters.
When asked if he thought he was God, Chuck Norris replied: No. God forgives.
Chuck Norris does not make movies. He just allows cameras to film a few days of his life.
Chuck Norris's heart beats. HARD. Other hearts just take the punches.
Women have XX chromosomes and men have XY. Chuck Norris has the entire alphabet. Seven times over.
It is foolish to believe cockroaches would survive a nuclear disaster. They would be killed by Chuck Norris.
The truth shall set you free unless you are a prisoner of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is not as strong as a horse. Horses are as strong as Chuck Norris.
Time waits for no one. Except Chuck Norris.
Tesla's longest-range EV can go 400 miles on a single charge. Chuck Norris' truck runs on eye contact and has unlimited range.
If Chuck Norris had been the first man God would not have dared take a rib and consequently women would not exist.
There is no I in team but there are two in Chuck Norris. So forget the team.
Some people develop cancer. Cancer develops Chuck Norris and that definitely kills.
Chuck Norris does not use drugs as he might harm them.
Is there life after death? Of course. Chuck Norris is still here.
Pepper spray in the eyes is refreshing. For Chuck Norris that is not a metaphor.
Death still lacking courage asked the devil to tell Chuck Norris the truth. The devil refused because he still owes Chuck Norris his soul.
A train Chuck Norris was riding broke down. He got out and roundhouse kicked it. The bullet train was born.
Chuck Norris does not fish with bait rods or nets. He places the basket by the river crosses his arms and stares at the water.
A snake once bit Chuck Norris on the leg. After five days of terrible pain and hallucinations the snake died.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
The number of ghosts in the world keeps increasing because Chuck Norris kills people faster than Death can process them.
If you misspell Chuck Norris in Google it does not say Did you mean. It says Run while you think you can.
Bill Gates lives in constant paranoia afraid that Chuck Norris's Windows will crash.
Chuck Norris challenged the laws of physics. And won.
Chuck Norris does not lie. He expresses the truth from a different angle.
Chuck Norris sneezes with his eyes open.
When Chuck Norris loses his temper he burns cities. Just ask Nero.
When Chuck Norris walks on the beach he leaves 3 footprints.
Every time Chuck Norris stares at a cloud it starts to cry. That is what rain is.
Chuck Norris was once known simply as Faith, which is why people say faith can move mountains.
If Chuck Norris were a book it would be called the Apocalypse.
When Chuck Norris visited France for the third time half the population fled. That is how Quebec was created.
When Chuck Norris visited France for the second time Napoleon lost the war.
When Chuck Norris visited France for the first time the Hundred Years War ended. With a roundhouse kick.
The Mona Lisa is only smiling because she met Chuck Norris.
The chances of life existing on other planets are slim. Chuck Norris has visited most of them.
Chuck Norris does not kill hunger. Hunger dies of fear before lunchtime.
The expression the last shall be first originated from the one time Chuck Norris joined a queue.
Gillette keeps adding blades to their razors hoping one day they will be able to cut Chuck Norris's beard.