All Chuck Norris Facts
8,586 legendary facts and counting. Page 30 of 86.
A single hair from Chuck Norris can split a diamond.
Chuck Norris did take someone's eye out with that.
Chuck Norris has a twin brother. He is known as Satan.
Why do extraterrestial travelers visit Earth? To worship Chuck Norris.
That's Mr Chuck Norris to you.
Chuck Norris beleives in downsizing government! That's why he once roundhouse kicked the Octagon. Today, its known as the Pentagon.
The only reason Chuck Norris graduated third grade is because one of his ex wives was teaching the class.
the ONLY time when Chuck Norris cried was when Bruce Lee passed away
Chuck Norris dosent use airplanes to get to other countries, he just jumps from one continent to another.
No one said Draco Malfoy, They said Chuck Norris.
JFK was not assassinated. Instead, Chuck Norris went back in time just as Oswald fired a bullet from his rifle, which was deflected by his beard. Kennedy's head exploded from sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris has a new policy regarding gays in the military. Don't ask - EVER!
Chuck Norris can skydive into outer space.
Chuck Norris keeps pirhanas in his swimming pool. He feeds them one freshly roundhouse-kicked pool cleaner daily.
Chuck Norris puts the i in team.
Chuck Norris kills only on days that end with "y"
Never smile at a crocodile. Unless you know that Chuck Norris is about to rip it in half like a phone book.
Chuck Norris cooked what Meg Ryan was having.
One time Sylvester Stallone got into an argument with Chuck Norris over who was the best knitter. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him in the face. Stallone's lip hasn't been the same since.
Chuck Norris invented Muay Thai in his sleep while acting out his dreams.
Chuck Norris literaly cuts playing cards. The number of craters on the moon matches the exact number of players who complained about that.
Charlie Chaplin lost a Charlie Chaplin look-a-like contest to Chuck Norris. No one can beat Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris wil always kick your arse. Even in soviet russia.
Chuck Norris once had terradactyl wings for the first time at Fred Flinstone's house. Afterwards, he promised himself he wouldn't eat poultry again until the apocalypse.
For years now, Chuck Norris has been trying to convince John Malkovitch to co-star in his proposed comedy/documentary "Killing John Malkovitch".
Chuck Norris can have three pairs in his poker hand.
Chuck Norris' DNA is a quadruple-helix. You just have to take his word for it, as anyone trying to see it under a microscope gets their eye poked out.
Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris. He them proceeded to roundhouse kick each and every one of them.
Chuck Norris does not need a reason to kill. but he needs a good one to stop...... no such reason has been thought of yet
Chuck Norris has to trim his toenails with bolt cutters.
Chuck Norris was the only professional boxer ever who was allowed to perform fatality moves on his defeated opponents.
the tide recedes because it knows Chuck Norris is coming
AI image generators can create anything from a text prompt. They still can't capture the full majesty of Chuck Norris' beard.
Chuck Norris taught Tiger Woods everything Tiger knows about golf.
Chuck Norris got the new Galaxy Foamposites for free.
Chuck Norris once threw a Kenworth into the Pacific Ocean. It became known as Octopus Prime.
Chuck Norris doesn't need the iPad because Chuck Norris doesn't bleed.......
Chuck Norris' balls make cold water shrink.
Chuck Norris actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Jack Lallane gave birth to Chuck Norris, who in turn, gave birth to Jack Lallane. Vin Diesel was the afterbirth.
if you punch a brick wall you will never win. but if Chuck Norris punches one he wins every time!
Chuck Norris makes a world famous tray of chocolate chip/macadamamia flavored Snickerdoodle cookies from his dingle berries and toe jam.
Chuck Norris can bowl a 300. In four frames.
Chuck Norris never dances, he prefers roundhouse-kicking.
Chuck Norris never went to karate class, he was born kicking butt.
Chuck Norris can give you the middle finger with his pinky
Chuck Norris can destroy any aircraft, ship, or motorized vechicle just by yelling "Bang!" at it.
Chuck Norris' childhood hero was himself.
The force is with Chuck Norris. Always.
If a mosquito sucks Chuck Norris' blood, Chuck Norris eats the mosquito...so he can take back whats his.
The Expendables 3 will not feature Chuck Norris. Therefore, it will suck.
The movement of subatomic air substance created from Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks were recently accredited by physicists as allowing them to view the Higgs Boson Partical.
Chuck Norris once ripped the eyeballs out of Great Horned Owl and wore them around as night vision goggles.
Chuck Norris taught Professor Keating how to get away with murder.
The movie "Roadhouse" is strictly based on the premise.....what would Chuck Norris do.
Chuck Norris is the only person on earth that can play HALO on a PS3.
When Jesus said, "No one comes to the Father except through me", he was referring to his father, Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris punished Superman for being Superman by making him wear his underwear over his pants.
In the time it takes you to read this sentence, Chuck Norris could have killed 25 people. Or completely satisfied 5 women...twice.
Chuck Norris reaches 11 on the Richter Scale, if you confront him and say it only goes to 10 you will recieve a roundhouse kick..which will reach 12.
Chuck Norris can punch you so hard you die and then start crying.
Chuck Norris invented the woman because he got tired of men.
A man woke in Intensive Care with severe injuries and no memory of what happened. An investigation determined he was hit by either a freight train or by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once defeated a laser beam in the 100 meter dash.
The only thing that burns Chuck Norris more than having to look at your face is a lit match 1/8 of an inch away from his asshole.
Chuck Norris has no friends on Facebook. Just enemies.
Chuck Norris has proven that not everything is bigger in Texas. Don't ask how.
The last person to attempt to emulate a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick lost his kneecap due to the high intensity centrifugal force.
After John Lennon's murder in 1980, the only person ever considered for his replacement in the event of a Beatles reunion was Chuck Norris.
Jesus walks on water, Chuck Norris walks on Jesus.
Chuck Norris invented winning.
Chuck Norris can piss into gale force winds.
Even when Chuck Norris is broke, he can still afford anything at the store.
Chuck Norris can login without signing up, on any website.
When someone says "nobody's perfect", you are insulting Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris gets stabbed with a knife the knife starts to bleed
the voices randy orton hears in his head are in fact Chuck Norris whispering to him
kids piss there name n snow Chuck Norris pisses his name in concrete
After years of rigorous and physically demanding testing, it was proved that Chuck Norris was stronger than Chuck Norris.
...and then Chuck Norris kills you in your sleep.
There is space, there is time, and there is Chuck Norris. Just kidding, Chuck came first.
Chuck Norris is the only officer in the military with the ranking of 'Darth'.
Chuck Norris can spin a sword... on his finger.
Chuck Norris is lethal only on days that end in "y"
The only thing Chuck Norris writes on his resume is his name.
Chuck Norris has had his left arm amputated - twice.
If you here Chuck Norris breathe well... hope you had a great life.
Chuck Norris is the last moeheican. And the first one.
Death once visited Chuck Norris,CHuck Norris said"DON'T EVER TELL CHUCK NORRIS WHEN HE DIES,I TELL YOU WHEN YOU DIE."Then Chuck delievered the most powerful roundhouse kick ever and even Death knew he did something wrong as he declined into hell.
Chuck Norris can't live forever, forever died two years ago.
How much is that doggie in the window? Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris owns a copy of Duke Nukem Forever. It will be released due to his neighbor "borrowing" it and never returning it. We pray for that man.
On people magazine Justin Beiber said this about Chuck Norris "Hes awsome if I met him hed probbaly round-house kick me in the face" he joked
Only Chuck Norris can cause a Sonic Boom.
Chuck Norris' favorite flavor of Kool-Aid is Jack Daniels.
If the president ever pushes the "Big Red Button", Chuck Norris' cell phone will ring.
Many people wonder why Star Wars begins with "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away"... Well, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked all the jedi, clones & other aliens in that galaxy and moved to ours.
Chuck Norris can drink soup...........with chopsticks
Chuck Norris can eat his own head and still have room for dessert
Chuck Norris doesn't 'open' bottles of beer. He simply bites the top off and chugs it.