All Chuck Norris Facts
8,592 legendary facts and counting. Page 50 of 86.
Chuck Norris has a cameo in Armageddon, The day after tomorrow, 2012, and war of the worlds... as the same role.
When Freddy Krueger falls asleep, Chuck Norris appears to kick his ass!
Chuck Norris once killed a T-rex With A lion.
Chuck Norris's Round House Kick causes particle acceleration.
The Aboriginal witch doctors of Australia consider Chuck Norris a godlike spirit-man for his ability to fart loud didgeridoo-like tones that paralyze wambats and other indigenous tablefare.
Born 12 feet tall, Chuck Norris shrinks himself 20% every 1,000 years to "keep killing interesting".
A sports writer interviewed Chuck Norris and asked if he had any sports experience. Chuck said he had experience in the broad jump, that he had once jumped 3 broads the same night.
Chuck Norris has won the Publisher Clearing House 1 million a year for live every year for the last ten years. But he has never entered their contest.
Chuck Norris can milk a cow with your face.
It was called Goodminton until Chuck Norris started playing.
Chuck Norris can invoke a Blue Screen of Death in a Mac and a Linux box through fear.
In 1960 10 boys in an Oklahoma Jr High school were arrested for huffing glue & spray paint. One, a young Chuck Norris, was later released after police determined he was actually only huffing tear gas canisters.
Chuck Norris had to go pee, next thing you now the oceans were made.
In 1508, Chuck Norris threw a tin of paint at a ceiling, ever since then thousands of people flock to see the Sistine Chapel.
Chuck Norris regularly performs mind tricks on Jedi Knights.
Chuck Norris is on first-name terms with every coroner in Texas. He also has killed many of them.
Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.
Sadaharu Oh holds the world record with 868 home runs in his career. Chuck Norris could break that record in a single season.
It is rumored that Billy May's last words were that he thought he was starting to look like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once kicked a football into outer space and Martians came down to return it.
Chuck Norris is suing CNN for using two of his initials in their name...
Rhythm is a slave to the Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was the Pointing Towel Man in the Ring cursed video tape.
When James Cameron reached the deepest point on Earth at Mariana Trench, he saw no signs of life there except for some tiny shrimp-like creatures and Chuck Norris meditating on the ocean floor.
A lady once asked Chuck Norris to kiss her baby. He thought she said 'kick'. Oops.
Chuck Norris dunks onion rings in his morning coffee.
Chuck Norris has the ability to never think arby's.
Chuck Norris keeps Marsellus Wallace's soul in his wallet.
Unlike Mr T, Chuck Norris does not pity the fool. Chuck Norris beats him to death.
When a waiter asks Chuck Norris what he wants to drink, he responds with a roundhouse kick to the face and collecting the waiter's tears in a glass. He drinks them and then tells the waiter for ice next time.
Chuck Norris could tell you his secret, but there's 1 requirement. You must die.
Chuck Norris made Twisted Sister take it some more.
Some people can make animal shapes out of balloons. Chuck Norris can do the same with human organs.
In 1968, Chuck Norris found himself unarmed and surrounded by 2000 Viet Cong troops. They immediately surrendered.
"Chuck Norris once played chicken with a rhino", "the rhino died!"
Chuck Norris knows Italian fluently, but prefers to let his roundhouse kicks to do the talking when in Rome.
All men are created equal. Except, of course, for Chuck Norris, who is more equal than anybody else.
Chuck Norris made Dave Grohl his monkey wrench.
Chuck Norris is in the killing business and to quote Chuck Norris "Business Is Good.
Chuck Norris can keep chumbawumba down.
Chuck Norris clogs the toilet every time he pisses.
Chuck Norris knows your secrets.
Chuck Norris would buy that for a dollar. But is getting it for free anyway.
Chuck Norris once broke Mach 2 while jogging.
AI data centers consume enough electricity to power small countries. Chuck Norris' treadmill powers three of them.
Chuck Norris uses Agent Orange as deodorant.
Sasquatch once found a Chuck Norris footprint.
Eskimos club baby seals to death for their fur. Chuck Norris clubs Eskimos for their teeth. That's why you never see an Eskimo with teeth grinning.
Gangsters spend all their lives living in Chuck Norris' Paradise.
Chuck Norris rhymes with 'kill'.
Before Chuck Norris came along, pitbulls were lap dogs.
Chuck Norris never had to knock on wood. But he knows some assholes he killed who have. Which make him wonder if you should. Because he knows it isn't good. That's the impression of his boot in your face that you'll get.
Every night when Chuck Norris goes to sleep, his beard detatches itself, picks up a small knife and sprints towards the city in hopes to match his killcount.
There is only 1 person in the world who can kill Chuck Norris. IT'S HIS EVIL TWIN Chack Norris.
If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.
Chuck Norris jogs for an hour every morning at 6am. He finishes at 5am.
Chuck Norris got so pissed off at IE6 he roundhouse kicked it and to this day it still can't render css properly.
Chuck Norris' natural pubic musk has the same properties as chloroform.
He used to be called The Headed Horseman before Chuck Norris met him.
Chuck Norris uses the shards of broken liquor bottles as contact lenses.
The demon in Paranormal Activity disperses powder on his door to see Chuck Norris' footprints.
The reason why Japan has too many disasters like the WWII bombings in Hiroshima and Nagasaki, earthquakes and tsunamis is because they always mispronounced his name in their prayers and praises as "CHUCK NOLLIS" instead of CHUCK NORRIS.
The only way Chuck Norris can die is from a kiss of true love delivered by Richard Simmons.
If Chuck Norris cuts ahead of you in line, just be thankful he let you survive after being in his way.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Nina Needs to Go!
Rattlesnakes FEAR a Chuck Norris bite.
The only child ever to survive a roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris was Gary Coleman. He has not grown since.
Chuck Norris is the only man who has held all weight class championship belts in UFC at the same time.
Hello Kitty has stubby arms because Chuck Norris was feeling hungry.
The Producer asked Chuck Norris if he would appear on an episode of Naked and Afraid. Chuck said "I have no problem gettin' naked but none of that crap on your show is gonna scare me".
Chuck Norris invented dark matter to fool scientists!
Chuck Norris actually has German blood. He keeps it in the fridge next to the mayonnaise.
Chuck Norris eats spaghetti with a spoon.
Once upon a time, there was a warrior. He was destined to save the earth from all evils. That man was not Chuck Norris, because Chuck ate that man. Don't piss him off.
Every Chuck Norris handshake comes with a free lifetime limp.
The victims of Michael Myers run around helpless and scared to death until he finds them and stab them. But Michael Myers is always on the run because he's terrified of how hard Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick him when he finds him.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to Chuck Norris's side.
Chuck Norris is the only man alive that can staple water to a tree.
Led Zeppelin originally wanted to call their songs "Whole Lotta Chuck" and "Stairway To Chuck Norris' Basement".
Chuck Norris can eat tomato soup with chopsticks.
Chuck Norris once broke the law. They are still trying to put it back together.
Chuck Norris' vocal cords have built-in autotune.
Chuck Norris owns the Elephant Man's skeleton, and recently acquired Michael Jackson's.
Chuck Norris isn't a human being. He's a human doing.
Scientists say perpetual motion is impossible... Chuck Norris proved them wrong with a stare.
Chuck Norris invented stuffed turkey, cranberries and sweet potatoes. He also invented 'the wheel'. In America we celebrate Thanksgiving because Chuck Norris doesn't make us eat wheels too.
Chuck Norris survived the atomic bombs. He still stayed as a smooth-skin.
Chuck Norris shot down fifty-two German fighter jets- in 2007.
Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a bulldozer.
If Chuck Norris fights with himself it's a win-win situation.
Chuck Norris can rescue you from a fate worse than death — not being violently killed by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris smokes only the finest herb through the barrel of a .30-06.
Chuck Norris CAN fit a square peg in a round hole.
The odds of a Star Destroyer surviving a direct assault on Chuck Norris are approximately three thousand seven hundred and twenty to one.
Chuck Norris has a hippieskin rug in his living room.
If you threw Chuck Norris' toenail clippings away, they would come back.
When Medusa stared at Chuck Norris SHE turned to stone.
Switzerland guarantees its neutrality by paying Chuck Norris a tribute of 10 million dollars and 52 hot women each year.
Chuck Norris used Thor's hammer to tack a picture up on his living room wall.
Once Chuck Norris Kicked a football, Now We are calling it as Moon.