📜 History Facts
101 facts
Chuck Norris once won a staring contest with Medusa.
Chuck Norris gave Mr. T all that gold. It was payment for mowing his lawn.
Chuck Norris was originally cast as Jack in Titanic. The iceberg moved.
Chuck Norris built the Great Wall of China. He needed somewhere to do his push-ups.
Chuck Norris won the Vietnam War. He just didn't tell anyone.
The dinosaurs went extinct because Chuck Norris was hungry.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked one corner off.
Chuck Norris taught Genghis Khan everything he knew. Khan only retained 10 percent.
Chuck Norris once punched Julius Caesar. The phrase became Et tu Norris in the history books.
Napoleon's hand was not in his coat. He was hiding it from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris discovered fire. Then he put it out with his bare hands just because he could.
Abraham Lincoln said four score and seven years ago. Chuck Norris corrected him. Lincoln agreed.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wise Man. He was turned away for bringing a roundhouse kick as a gift.
Chuck Norris once challenged Hercules to an arm wrestle. Hercules is still recovering.
The Great Sphinx originally had a nose. Chuck Norris flicked it off.
Chuck Norris once raced a Roman chariot on foot. He won. The horse asked to be on his team next time.
Stonehenge was Chuck Norris's attempt at a game of horseshoes.
The pyramids were built by Chuck Norris. On his lunch break.
Chuck Norris once wrestled Zeus. Lightning still hasn't recovered.
The Roman Empire fell when Chuck Norris told it to sit down.
Chuck Norris auditioned for Gladiator. Russell Crowe got the role because Chuck was too busy actually fighting.
Chuck Norris once attended a bullfight in Spain. The bull asked for a moment to pray.
The Great Fire of London was caused by Chuck Norris sneezing.
When Chuck Norris was born he delivered himself. The doctor assisted.
Chuck Norris once played William Tell. He used a cannonball.
Chuck Norris was present at the signing of the Declaration of Independence. He was the co-signer nobody talks about.
Chuck Norris once shook hands with George Washington. Washington's arm was stronger after.
Chuck Norris invented gravity. The apple asked permission before falling on Newton.
Machu Picchu was built as a retreat for Chuck Norris. It was still too small.
Cavemen discovered fire. Chuck Norris had already tamed it.
Chuck Norris trained the Trojan Horse. It was his idea.
Every Roman gladiator retired the day Chuck Norris showed up to watch.
Pirate ships flew the skull and crossbones to warn Chuck Norris they were no threat.
Chuck Norris invented chess when he was bored. He has never lost a game since.
The Roman Colosseum was Chuck Norris's backyard arena. It was a downsizing.
The Aztec calendar originally had Chuck Norris's face on it. It was replaced to avoid panic.
The original marathon runner was carrying a message to Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris already knew.
Atlantis sank when Chuck Norris did a cannonball into the ocean.
Chuck Norris once threw a spear so far it hit a dinosaur in the past.
In the beginning there was nothing. Then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing in the face and said find something to do. That is the story of creation.
Archaeologists unearthed an English dictionary from 1230. It defines the word victim as one who encounters Chuck Norris.
At age 2 Chuck Norris almost drowned in the sea. His fury was so great that the sea became known as the Dead Sea ever since.
Chuck Norris once ran a 100m sprint. It happened so fast that when he stopped the ground buckled upward. Mount Everest was formed.
Nostradamus predicted the world would end in the year 2000. Chuck Norris disagreed and roundhouse kicked Nostradamus in the face.
Chuck Norris once kicked Canada and Greenland was formed.
When Jesus said let he who has never sinned throw the first stone Chuck Norris was the only one who could. He chose to be merciful.
Snow White had 13 dwarfs. 6 of them crossed paths with Chuck Norris.
Hiroshima and Nagasaki never saw an atomic bomb. Chuck Norris ate bad sushi and burped in that direction.
God needed 10 days to build the world. Chuck Norris gave him 6.
The original title for Star Wars was 'Skywalker: Texas Ranger', starring Chuck Norris.
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are based on a true story involving Chuck Norris in the bathroom.
Chuck Norris invented the C-section when he roundhouse kicked his way out of his mother's womb.
The original title of the Bible was 'Chuck Norris and Friends'.
Godzilla is the Japanese version of Chuck Norris's first visit to Japan.
When Arnold Schwarzenegger said 'I'll be back', it was to go get Chuck Norris.
In Jurassic Park, the T-Rex was not chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the T-Rex. And the jeep.
Everything King Midas touched turned to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns to fertilizer. Including Midas.
Chuck Norris once urinated on a lighter. That is how the flamethrower was invented.
People invented the automobile to escape Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car crash.
When Chuck Norris was born the only one who cried was the doctor. He did not dare slap Chuck Norris.
The Round Table was destroyed by one of Chuck Norris's roundhouse kicks.
Moses prayed. Chuck Norris opened the Red Sea with a single roundhouse kick.
The helicopter was invented after engineers observed Chuck Norris performing eight roundhouse kicks per second.
There used to be 7 wonders of the ancient world. Then Chuck Norris was born and became the only one that matters.
The Leaning Tower of Pisa bowed to Chuck Norris once and has never dared straighten up since.
Chuck Norris once closed his bank account. The result was the Great Depression of 1929.
Before email was invented Chuck Norris attached messages to kittens and launched them with a roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris created all the world's accents by roundhouse kicking different people in different parts of their necks.
During art class as a child Chuck Norris created Mount Rushmore out of clay.
Truman dropped atomic bombs on Japan instead of sending Chuck Norris. The reason? It would be more humane.
The words Made by Chuck Norris are printed on the underside of China.
Sting once took a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris. The impact sent him flying to the middle of the Pacific Ocean, resulting in the song Message in a Bottle.
Achilles's heel was the result of a failed roundhouse kick attempt on Chuck Norris.
King Kong climbed the Empire State Building because he was afraid of Chuck Norris.
Before the wheel was invented Chuck Norris already had a driver's license.
When they said not even God could sink the Titanic, Chuck Norris said: Is that a challenge?
TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris as a cure for indigestion.
It is believed dinosaurs were destroyed by a giant meteor. That is if you call Chuck Norris's fist a giant meteor.
When Walker Texas Ranger aired in France the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
It is believed dinosaurs were wiped out by a giant meteor. That is correct if you call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.
Chuck Norris invented chess but the original game had no king.
The Mona Lisa is only smiling because she met Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris visited France for the first time the Hundred Years War ended. With a roundhouse kick.
When Chuck Norris visited France for the second time Napoleon lost the war.
When Chuck Norris visited France for the third time half the population fled. That is how Quebec was created.
Chuck Norris was once known simply as Faith, which is why people say faith can move mountains.
When Chuck Norris loses his temper he burns cities. Just ask Nero.
A train Chuck Norris was riding broke down. He got out and roundhouse kicked it. The bullet train was born.
If Chuck Norris had been the first man God would not have dared take a rib and consequently women would not exist.
In the beginning there were 8 deadly sins until Chuck Norris had his name removed from the list.
In ancient China there was a legend that a child born of a dragon would rid the Earth of all evil. Chuck Norris killed that man.
When Chuck Norris was a child his parents gave him a toy hammer. That is how the world got Stonehenge.
Chuck Norris needed only one roundhouse kick to split Bruce Lee in two. The result was Jet Li and Jackie Chan.
If the apple had fallen on Chuck Norris's head there would be no gravity. Or apples.
And on the seventh day God said: Here is Chuck Norris. And all rejoiced. Except those who received the first roundhouse kicks in human history.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Chuck Norris". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked inthe face by Chuck Norris.
After returning from World War 2 unscrathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Chuck Norris with a handshake. The rest is history.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger. By yelling "Bang!"
Chuck Norris originally wrote the first dictionary. The definition for each word is as follows - A swift roundhouse kick to the face.
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground