Search 8,871+ Chuck Norris Facts

MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can roundhouse-kick his head through a wall and take it.

In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Chuck Norris". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked inthe face by Chuck Norris.

The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was a game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris originally wrote the first dictionary. The definition for each word is as follows - A swift roundhouse kick to the face.

Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked the letter 'r' out of Jonathon Woss.

Chuck Norris stole Christmas back from the Grinch and roundhouse kicked The Grinch's ass 84594205743920574189057209 times.

Shooting stars wish Chuck Norris wouldn't roundhouse kick them.

Entropy in the universe increases one billion fold, after every roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once launched a massive reverse roundhouse kick at a man's face, missed and struck a conrete wall. The man died anyway from the percussion shock.

yo momma so ugly, Chuck Norris had to roundhouse kick her.the image of yo momma still haunts Chuck Norris to this day.

In the year 1735 a meteor was hurling towards earth. It suddenly stopped at the site of Chuck Norris. It asked Chuck Norris for his autograph, then Chuck Norris roundhoused kicked it back to space.

Chuck Norris will beat you with his nunchucks. Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick you with his Chuck Taylors. Chuck Norris will feed you to the woodchucks. Don't fuck with Chuck!!1

Chuck Norris was banned from the Winter Olympics because the judges didnt know how to score a double-lutz flip-axle roundhouse kick to the face!!

Bloody noses happen because Chuck Norris thought about roundhouse kicking you in the face, but then changed his mind.

When Chuck Norris was born he roundhouse kicked his way out of the womb

Chuck Norris doesn't edit Wikipedia, he roundhouse kicks the articles.

Chuck Norris showed Paloma Faith that roundhouse kicks also hurt like love.

If you say Chuck Norris' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.

Chuck Norris is in the death star trench run; Obi one kenobi: use the force chuck. Chuck Norris: F*** you old man, I use round house kick. Period The death star blew up with only one roundhouse kick and the universe was saved.