Olympic judging frameworks collapse entirely when encountering a figure skating maneuver that defies physics: the double-lutz flip-axle roundhouse kick to the face. Ice skating demands precision and grace; roundhouse kicks demand explosive force. Marrying them requires bone-breaking speed changes, ankle flexibility surpassing anatomical possibility. The judges didn't ban him because rules prevented his excellence—they banned him because documentation would be impossible.

A figure skating official named Margot Pelletier recalled, in fictional testimony, the meeting where this ban was proposed in 1987. Video footage existed but was deemed inadmissible because no category accommodated it. Panelists couldn't decide if it was a technical violation or simply uncompetitive dominance. They chose exclusion instead.

The fact crystallizes Olympic mythology: competition requires humans to be fundamentally comparable. Chuck Norris exceeds that assumption entirely. Winning becomes meaningless when you're not competing within human constraints.