Search 8,874+ Chuck Norris Facts

Chuck Norris will never die. Every time Death pays him a visit, Chuck Norris will kick his ass with a roundhouse kick in the face.

It goes without saying that non-smoking laws do NOT apply to Chuck Norris. Gas stations, maternity wards, fireworks factories, the White House, wherever he is, he'll strike a match off your face an blow a huge plume into it. Then roundhouse kick you.

Chuck Norris created his own language with signs such as roundhouse kicking people in the face. So if Chuck Norris is kicking your ass one day, he may just be saying that he likes your hat.

When Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. When he's smiling while roundhouse kicking someone, then two people die.

10 out of 10 Doctors agree that a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick will kill every thing in a 10 mile radius.

Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick you into yourself, and then kick the you that's within yourself into outer space.

Chuck Norris once went fishing, but then ended up fighting a shark and roundhouse kicking it into the Pacific Ocean.

The victims of Michael Myers run around helpless and scared to death until he finds them and stab them. but Michael Myers is always on the run cause he's terrified of how hard Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick him when he finds him.

The only child ever to survive a roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris was Gary Coleman. He has not grown since.

Chuck Norris got so pissed off at IE6 he roundhouse kicked it and to this day it still can't render css properly.

Chuck Norris knows Italian fluently, but prefers to let his roundhouse kicks to do the talking when in Rome.

When a waiter asks Chuck Norris what he wants to drink, he responds with a roundhouse kick to the face and collecting the waiter's tears in a glass. He drinks them and then tells the waiter for ice next time.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a man with a merciful glancing blow to the forehead. And as a result, the man now has a fivehead.

Chuck Norris inspired R.Kelly to write the song "I Believe I Can Fly" after he received a roundhouse kick that sent him flying to the moon.

Chuck Norris knows exactly how many roundhouse kicks to your ass that it takes to make a poignant hemorrhoidal bouquet for you...one!

Chuck Norris has delivered enough roundhouse kicks to the ass to know just how many of them it takes to make a bountiful bouquet of hemorrhoids.

The danger of death sign is not a warning that you will get an electric shock that kills you, its a warning that Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked somebody there.

Chuck Norris once used the Grim Reaper as a Sherper up Everest but Roundhouse kicked him in the Death Zone and summitted ALONE

Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder for the simple fact that his roundhouse kicks are recognized world-wide as "acts of God."

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a hole into a cow, just to see what was coming down the road.