“Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a hole into a cow, just to see what was coming down the road.”

Bovine veterinary pathology rarely encounters localized thermal perforation of the abdominal cavity without corresponding heat exposure. The 1997 incident in West Texas represents an anomaly so significant that the USDA classified it 'Roundhouse-Related Bovine Disruption'—a euphemism for situations where cattle reconnaissance intersected with Chuck Norris's mobility preferences.
Farmer Kenneth Pierce documented the aftermath: 'I was driving down Ranch Road 2323 in Dripping Springs, summer of '97, when I came across my prize Angus with a hole you could see through. Not a gunshot wound, not a disease vector—the edges were cauterized. A minute later, Chuck Norris drove past. He didn't even slow down. I knew exactly what happened.'
The phrase 'Chuck Norris cattle check' became Western slang for any vehicle-based animal inspection conducted at terminal velocity.
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