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Chuck Norris can tame a grizzly bear with a single nod.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet. The bear is not dead. It is just too afraid to move.

Chuck Norris's beard has its own gravitational pull. Three moons orbit it.

Chuck Norris's beard trims itself out of respect.

Bears hibernate to avoid Chuck Norris during winter.

Chuck Norris once sneezed and woke up every bear in hibernation globally.

Bin Laden once proposed a truce after discovering Chuck Norris thought his beard was an imitation of his own.

The Loch Ness Monster is a strand of Chuck Norris's beard that gained consciousness and swam away.

A bear once crossed Chuck Norris's path. The trauma was so great that it fled to the Arctic and its fur turned white. That is how polar bears were created.

In China, the hairs of Chuck Norris's beard are believed to be powerful aphrodisiacs.

Dragons existed until one of them accidentally singed Chuck Norris's beard.

Chuck Norris shaves daily with a chainsaw but when he looks in the mirror his beard immediately grows back.

Ginsu knives are sharpened on Chuck Norris's beard hair.

Gillette keeps adding blades to their razors hoping one day they will be able to cut Chuck Norris's beard.

Chuck Norris doesn't use a cheese grater. He grates cheese with his beard

Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.

In the movie "The Matrix", Chuck Norris is the Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code" scenes, you can make out the faint texture of his beard.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.

Chuck Norris was asked if he would be willing to wrestle a Grizzly Bear. Chuck said he would and then added "I didn't know Rosie O'Donnell was in town".

Chuck Norris' beard does not hide his secret smile. It hides another, angrier beard.