🥋 General Facts

Chuck Norris once possessed an evil spirit.

It's Chuck Norris' world; we are just living in it.

Rocks learn from Chuck Norris on how to be rocks.

Chuck Norris keeps a shotgun in his wallet.

Chuck Norris actually means God in spanish, english, german, roundhouse, arabic, french, assassin, italian and just go with it or he'll kick you

When does the Chuck Norris roundhouse kick strike? The answer is, anywhere, at any time, so hide in a hole forever...just in case he is looking for you.

Chuck Norris wears a full samurai suit as pajamas.

'The Hurt Locker' is also the name of where Chuck Norris used to keep his homework, gym shorts, and assorted students and teachers he didn't like.

Haiti once talked about Chuck Norris' momma, we all know what happened to Haiti.

When asked how he wanted to die, Saddam Hussein requested a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the head. Saddam died instantly.

Chuck Norris dosn't climb mountains; mountains climb Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father.

Chuck Norris dedicates at least three hours every day to conceiving new life.

Chuck Norris knows it's funny until someone gets hurt... THAN IT'S HILARIOUS.

Chuck Norris' newest pet is a rocket pig. Chuck says the coolest thing about it is, if you ever get tired of flying your rocket pig, you can just turn it into bacon. Win, win!!

In the sport of bull riding staying on for 8 seconds is success. In Texas there is a sport called Chuck Norris riding. To date no bull has been able to stay on Chuck Norris for more then 3 seconds.

Chuck Norris wrote half of "War and Peace" in a day. Guess which half.

Harry Potter's teacher was Chuck Norris

Salman Rushdie is afraid of the fatwa on him... but is utterly terrified that Chuck Norris is even slightly irked at him.

Gordon Ramsay features Chuck Norris' Toaster Strudel recipe in all of his restaurants.

Fanboys such as Genwunners are made when Chuck Norris is hungry for the exact part of the brain that accepts opinions.

The reason why the truth hurts, is because Chuck Norris round-house kicked it in the face

Chuck Norris`s calender doesn`t need a leap year. Its more acurate than ours.

Chuck Norris is here to kick ass and take names, but doesn't bother to do that second thing.

There are only two true wonders of the world... and they are both down Chuck Norris' pants.

Chuck Norris changes the weather with his moods.

Chuck Norris really wants to hurt Boy George.

Chuck Norris can deliver justice without violence, but it is less fun that way.

Like a good neighbor, Chuck Norris is there to roundhouse kick you in the face.

Reece is back, Chuck Norris spam!!!

Chuck Norris once held one nostril shut while blowing an incredible snot volley from the other nostril. This action caused an epiphany among toy manufacturers that directly lead to the invention of the Nerf Blaster.

Why did bruce lee dress up like Chuck Norris in Enter the Dragons? Becase bruce lee was to scared to face Chunk Norris the lee is.

Have you ever wondered why Chuck Steaks are so tough. You guessed it.Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris threw a fit once. It took God six days and seven nights to fix the damage.

The secret to Five Hour Energy is that there is a drop of Chuck Norris sweat in every bottle.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago but death jst hasnt built up the courage to tell him yet

Chuck Norris has no belly button. He was born with a black belt instead of an umbilical cord.

Whenever people are holding wooden boards, Chuck Norris breaks them in half. Then he breaks the boards.

Lothario was a real Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris predicted the Mayan Calendar.

Chuck Norris once wrestled Zeus to a draw

Chuck Norris lives forever. When he was young, cave people used his beard hairs as tips for spears.

It can be either called 'the war against terrorism', or 'the war FOR Chuck Norrism'.

Chuck Norris can Fed-Ex a choking.

A girl asked Chuck Norris to shave his beard. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her, and she grew taller and her hair grew shorter. That girl is now Justin Bieber.

Chuck Norris once dialed 911 and got a busy signal from his own phone.

Chuck Norris can score a hole in zero in golf.

The dinosaurs are extinct because 70 million years ago Chuck Norris farted.

The Chinese started learning American English so that they could praise Chuck Norris in English.

My grand-father has Chuck Norris' head mounted on his wall.

Bowser was once like any other Koopa- until Chuck Norris breathed on him.

Chuck Norris won master chef Australia by cooking 2 minute noodles.

Jedis in Star Wars don't use The Force... they use CHUCK NORRIS... with Chuck's Premission.

Chuck Norris has Internet connection on his classic black Bell telephone.

The wind howls because of Chuck Norris

The AC/DC song "Thunderstruck" was inspired by Chuck Norris breaking wind.

The Big Comfy Couch was made for Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris finally defeated Joan Rivers.

Chuck Norris has won many a contest merely by showing up.

Chuck Norris loves your mother.

Chuck Norris can eat an a whole plate of fried rice in under 1 second... using a single chopstick.

When you die, Chuck Norris' life will flash before your eyes.

MMA fighters wet themselves when Chuck Norris enters the room.

"Smarty Had A Party" dinnerware was invented because Chuck Norris might show-up.

Chuck Norris participated in the Running of The Bulls but was banned from ever doing it again. All the bulls ran from Chuck and wouldn't come back.

Chuck Norris name is in the webster's dictionary under roundhouse kick and above god.

Chuck Norris can sneeze your face off.

Chuck Norris was once court-martialed. He was immediately promoted to five-star admiral.

Chuck Norris's favorite word? CHORUS.

There are two types of people in the world: those who agree with Chuck Norris and those who are wrong.

Chuck Norris hides in plain sight.

Chuck Norris is the only man who has hit 5 home runs while playing in the Super Bowl.

If you fight against Chuck Norris, there is no retreat and no surrender. You're dead before you can do either.

when Chuck Norris is asleep the sheep count him

Chuck Norris' beard also works part-time as his pubes.

King Canute failed when he tried to make the ocean waves obey him. Chuck Norris succeeded.

The skidmarks in Chuck Norris' underwear are actual tyre-tracks.

Chuck Norris is, and has always been where it's at.

Chuck Norris once abducted aliens.

Chuck Norris beer-bongs tequila.

If Chuck Norris and a Grizzley bear go after the same salmon, Chuck will be the one having smoked salmon for dinner.

Chuck Norris has a .50 BMG Derringer.

When a cop pulls Chuck Norris over for speeding, THE COP has to explain himself to Chuck Norris.

Mother Nature doesn't mess with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not forget his friends and loved ones birthdays. He decides when their birthdays are.

Chuck Norris doesn't chop trees in minecraft to get wood, the trees just falls every time he's near them.

God helps those who help themselves. Chuck Norris slaughters lazy assholes by the thousand.

Chuck Norris could find you. with his eyes closed.

Death is not the greatest loss in life Chuck Norris is if he died but Chuck Norris doesn't die for know one

If Kobe Bryant can throw a basketball 20m and shoot, Chuck Norris can throw Kobe Bryant 30 m and score.

Chuck Norris' buisness cards simply say: 'Look at me.' You will then be staring down the barrel of a twelve-guage.

Chuck Norris has a heart as black and cold as the most lifeless corners of outer space.

Optimus Prime owns a Chuck Norris action figure

Chuck Norris' mom always looks forward to every Mothers Day. Her loving son always provides her favorite gift...an uppercut.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer. Then Chuck Norris mowed her down with his snowmobile and finished her off.

If you stare at the american flag for long enough, you will see a 3-D image of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris fails at jump roping.

Chuck Norris graduated from preschool, high school, and college before he was even born.

Just a little over 50 years ago, Chuck Norris once helped President Kennedy mount a horse when they went horseback riding in Texas. He didn't later help Jack off the horse.

A sign at the entrance to NorrisWorld: 'You need to be at least this tall (30 microns) to die from a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.'