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Chuck Norris's beard alone has experienced more than your entire body.

Chuck Norris's beard can cure breast cancer.

Chuck Norris gently & tenderly rubbed his beard across the tiny face of 'The Green Mile' mouse, thus giving it eternal life. Just imagine the fun he had squashing it with his boots over & over again!

Chuck Norris actually has no beard. It's rust from his iron jaw

The apple never falls far from the tree. Keep this in mind when talking to a bearded child claiming to be one of Chuck Norris' spawn.

A grizzly bear shattered all its teeth when it bit Chuck Norris in the ass. A merciful Chuck Norris then lovingless fed the toothless grizzly 3 gallons of prueed salmon before ripping its gallbladder out through its asshole.

Chuck Norris cut himself while trimming his beard. When he was 6.

Touching Chuck Norris' beard will increase you life expectancy by 6 years. Unfortunately, the following roundhouse kick will reduce your life expectancy by 300. You do the math. "

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear. He sleeps with a REAL bear.

Chuck Norris only applies his car brakes for people with red hair & beards.

Chuck Norris uses his tongue can sniff out snakes. His tongue can also strangle a snake. He uses his beard to fillet the snake into bite size pieces and mixes it in with bananas to top off his bowl of Post Toasties.

when Chuck Norris went to see Santa as a kid, Santa pulled Chuck Norris' beard to see if it was real.

Chuck Norris invented and patented the beard

In the DC comics, the only known thing to break a panel's lines is the beard of Chuck Norris.

Freddy fazbear and his friends dont scare Chuck Norris.....Chuck norris beats up Freddy and his friends.

davie crocket may have killed a bear when he was 3. but Chuck Norris killed a pack of velociraptor's when he was 1

Chuck Norris can hunt a bear with his beard tied behind his back

wile hiking in the mountains, Chuck Norris came face to face with a bear. so to avoid be atacked and killed the bear played dead.

the atlantic space shuttle explose because it wasnt made of Chuck Norris beard

Chuck Norris has a bear in his room it isint dead its to afraid to move.