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Chuck Norris lives forever. When he was young, cave people used his beard hairs as tips for spears.

Chuck Norris once paid a chef in Australia to cook him up a koala bear.

Chuck Norris can kill a grizzly-bear with its own teeth.

Some creatures fatally confuse Chuck Norris' beard with a rain forrest.

Chuck Norris' beard is what protects us from the sun's destructive ionizing radiation.

When smokey the bear comes up on tv saying "only you can prevent wildfires" most people don't see Chuck Norris in the background. To bad for those people.

Chuck Norris is a bulldozer with a beard.

Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife. "Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning. That's how tough his beard is.

Chuck Norris' beard has a Twitter account, a Myspace page, and a bestselling biography by Mick Wall. A HBO miniseries is currently in the works.

Solid Snake has a beard because Chuck Norris bit his chin an it became a fist

You can get tetanus simply by staring at Chuck Norris' beard for too long.

Chuck Norris's beard and Mr. T mohawk are 2nd cousins!

Chuck Norris has an uncredited cameo in Predator. His beard plays the jungle.

Chuck Norris can kill a man with only a beard stroke.

Chuck Norris invented happiness when he spared a mans life, when the man told his family, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him in the jaw thus ending the man and adding another hair to Chuck's beard!

Chuck Norris refused to do a cameo for Mission Impossible 3 until they changed the title to "Something the Care Bears Did."

Chuck Norris taught Jesus how to grow a beard.

Chuck Norris has a bear carpet in his room. The bear isnt dead. Its just afraid to move.

Following every bowl of horse hair & ballbearing bisque, Chuck Norris drinks a quart of Liquid Plummer to aid in digestion.

When Chuck Norris was once working at Freddy's Fazbear's Pizza, he punched the manager and roundhouse kicked Freddy Fazbear in the face.