Search 8,871+ Chuck Norris Facts

Cockroaches won't be the sole survivors of nuclear Armageddon...Chuck Norris' beard lice will

Leonardo Dicaprio has recurring dreams where Chuck Norris pummels the shit outta him after folding the city in half. Then he wakes up in terror, covered in sweat and with a beard rash on the back of his neck.

Chuck Norris was aboard the Costa Concordia. When it sank, Chuck Norris inflated his beard and swam away with 427 grateful passengers.

Chuck Norris tracked down the most boring man in the world, punched him in the face, then ordered him to grow a beard and become an alcoholic.

Clearly, Chuck Norris has more bad-assedness in his beard than all of the other Expendables combined and squared.

MUGEN's several depictions of Chuck Norris are actually based on strands of Chuck Norris's beard.

If you ever catch your kid watching a Chuck Norris movie, check him the next day for beard stubble.

After Chuck Norris uses his beard to unscramble eggs, it's impossible for anybody other than Chuck Norris to scramble them again.

A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard

Many a cowboy has ridden a brahma bull barebacked. Chuck Norris has ridden many a grizzly bear bullbacked.

Chuck Norris' moustache & beard is actually a cleverly disguised manicured extension of his nasal hair just simply because it is impossible for him to grow hair on his steel jaw.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Amish men grow beards.

Every night when Chuck Norris goes to sleep, his beard detatches itself, picks up a small knife and sprints towards the city in hopes to match his killcount.

Chuck Norris' Christmas tree is actually a 20 foot Tesla coil. It is also necessary to power his electric beard trimmer.

Chuck Norris went ice fishing and caught an igloo, the Titanic iceberg and a dead Polar Bear.

Chuck Norris trims his beard with piranha"s.

We all know that any mortal punching Chuck Norris' chin is just pressing the big red "Please Notice and Flatten Me Now" button hidden under his beard.

Chuck Norris can make gold from bear shit.

Chuck Norris can slice fries with his beard. He then stares at them until they are Golden Brown.

Every hair on Chuck Norris' beard represents the soul of a victim