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Chuck Norris got lost in the wilderness with Les Stroud and Bear Grylls. After 30 days only Chuck came out alive and had gained 20 pounds. Les and Bears bodies were never founds.

For fun, Chuck Norris crab fishes in the Bearing Sea with just a snorkel and a laundry basket.

The reason Link can't speak is because he got a roundhouse kick in the throat by an unidentified bearded man "Scientists believe him to be Chuck Norris"

Chuck Norris and his Mom have matching tattoos. Left kuckle Right knuckle Chuck Norris . Left foot Right foot Chuck Norris. Only one difference. Above his Mom's hairy mat it reads Hello ! Above Chuck Norris's bearded Ass it simply reads Goodbye.

If you ever insinuate that bearded men are insecure, the last thing you will ever see is Chuck Norris sprinting toward you.

Chuck Norris makes Bear Grylls look like a goddamn shut-in.

When Chuck Norris shaves his beard, it grows back within three minutes. That's why his early movies were so damn hard to film.

Chuck Norris once defeated a alligator, a bear, and a cougar by tying them together with a anaconda

Chuck Norris's beard is so tough that he can use it as a shredder.

JFK wasnt killed by a bullet, Chuck Norris ran in and deflected the bullet with his beard... JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement

God modeled his beard look after Chuck Norris.

Similar to an Iceberg, only 1/10 of Chuck Norris beard can be seen above the surface.

Chuck Norris is who taught Bear Ghrylls all his survival skills.

Chuck Norris' beard survives by absorbing other beards.

Fort Knox wanted to store gold in Chuck Norris' beard - but Chuck Norris' beard makes gold rust.

The only reason Chuck Norris hasn't brutally beaten George Lucas to death is because he still wars the beard.

Medusa's hair is made of snakes. Chuck Norris's beard is made of hair-colored barbed wire. Medusa can turn you into stone by staring at you. Chuck Norris doesn't have to look at you to turn you into pulp.

"Chuck Norris doesnt have to shave, his beard shaves itself."

Chuck Norris' organ donor card also includes his beard.

Chuck Norris' beard is actually made out of liquid metal. He can instantly stab you with it.