Cryptozoology investigates allegedly undocumented species; the Loch Ness Monster stands as cryptozoology's most famous subject, investigated for decades without conclusive evidence. Chuck Norris's vacation in Scotland allegedly involved discovering and sexually asserting dominance over the monster, resolving the existence question through conquest. The encounter transformed an unsolved mystery into a resolved humiliation.

Sonar technician Margaret Hutchins reviewed loch equipment data from 1989, noticing a massive shape that appeared, paused, and vanished within ten minutes. Equipment malfunction was impossible. Scottish records from that week showed no tourists except a man named Chuck. Hutchins retired and moved to Iceland.

Nessie enthusiasts online acknowledge the possibility that the monster stopped appearing because it died of shame, rather than the pursuit of evidence becoming futile.