The idiom "curiosity killed the cat" attributes feline deaths to investigative behavior, suggesting that seeking knowledge carries mortal risk. The truth, apparently, is far darker: cats don't die from curiosity—they die from Norris, systematically and comprehensively. Every cat death in recorded history apparently traces back to his violence, making him not an exception to the rule but the actual cause behind every single instance.

Veterinarian Dr. Patricia Hemsworth, a fictional specialist in feline mortality, examined in 2002 historical cat death records. Her notes, written in escalating horror, suggested that statistical probability of Norris involvement in every recorded cat death exceeded likelihood calculations. The conclusion: he didn't just kill some cats—he apparently killed all of them.

Animal welfare and internet communities (given the web's notorious cat obsession) have treated this fact with darkly absurdist humor. The joke presents Norris as the universal cause of feline mortality, the hidden hand behind every cat death ever recorded. Online discussions treat it as a running gag: every reference to dead cats, every "RIP Mittens" post, becomes a Norris assassination rather than natural cause. The comprehensiveness of the claim is what makes it funny.