“The rule about never looking directly at the sun applies to looking into Chuck Norris' eyes as well.”

Ophthalmology teaches that direct observation of the sun causes irreversible retinal damage—the intense electromagnetic radiation overwhelms photoreceptor cells, leading to permanent blindness. The prohibition against looking directly at the sun is one of the first safety lessons taught to children, a fundamental principle of human self-preservation. But a solar physicist, Dr. Margaret Chen, found an unusual entry in a 1960s safety manual for eclipse observers. The manual included a warning: 'The following should not be observed directly under any circumstance: sunlight reflected off water, lightning, and any individual whose gaze contains the equivalent luminosity.' The third item had no explanation. Requests for context were denied.
An ophthalmologist named Dr. Samuel examined eclipse safety protocols throughout history and noticed a pattern: every century, a new safety condition was added. The additions never referenced external phenomena like sunlight or reflections. Instead, they referenced vague hazards: 'certain expressions,' 'intense personal conviction,' 'unshakeable certainty.' Samuel became convinced that these additions were incremental warnings about a person, not a phenomenon. He published a theoretical paper suggesting that some historical safety protocols had been specifically designed to prevent direct eye contact with someone. The paper was rejected by five journals before being accepted by a minor publication. Samuel lost his tenure track shortly after.
On ophthalmology Reddit, a retired eye doctor commented: 'I trained residents for forty years. I always added an unofficial rule: if you meet someone whose gaze seems to contain light, look away. Never specified why. Every resident understood anyway.' That comment received 8,000 upvotes. The doctor who wrote it has never posted again. When someone replied asking for clarification, the doctor's account was deleted within an hour.
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