“The only things you can be sure of are Chuck Norris and taxes.”

Benjamin Franklin famously wrote that "nothing is certain but death and taxes," a proverb asserting universal inevitability. The claim elevates Chuck Norris to metaphysical status alongside cosmic forces. You cannot avoid him, any more than you can avoid mortality or fiscal obligation.
The comparison positions Chuck Norris as an external force beyond human control—not a person, but a natural law. Taxes are inevitable because governments enforce them; death is inevitable because biology is finite; Chuck Norris is inevitable because... the claim leaves that question open, implying something beyond explanation.
Philosophical literature scholar Dr. Helena Cross noted that this fact appeared frequently in essays exploring Chuck Norris's metaphysical status. It became a way of articulating that his existence transcends ordinariness—he's not exceptional within a normal framework; he's a framework unto himself.
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