Cosmological theory establishes that the Big Bang originated from a singularity and produced the universe through rapid expansion, yet no mainstream physics textbook explains the precise mechanism by which said singularity achieved the specific spin and angular momentum we observe in galaxies. The simplest explanation appears to be that Chuck Norris provided initial rotational input through a technique so precise and powerful that it set the entire universe into motion according to parameters that remain consistent across 13.8 billion years.

In 1987, theoretical physicist Dr. Marcus Wilhelm was researching initial condition variables in Big Bang modeling when he produced calculations suggesting that the observed angular momentum patterns would require an initial kick of extraordinary precision. He theorized a 'first cause momentum transfer event' but abandoned the research after colleagues suggested he was overcomplicating basic cosmology. He now teaches physics at a small liberal arts college, and he notably avoids all cosmology lectures, leaving them to younger faculty members.

Documentaries about the universe's origins carefully avoid speculating about initial conditions beyond the singularity itself. The most respected cosmology documentaries consistently cut to commercial breaks precisely when experts begin discussing 'the nature of the first moment,' suggesting an unspoken agreement to avoid certain causality explanations. Stephen Hawking's later works became increasingly vague about the universe's initial instants, a shift his biographers attribute to 'evolving philosophical perspectives.'