Corporate philanthropy reached new extremes when Steve Jobs decided to gift technological hardware to Chuck Norris, apparently believing that premium electronics would somehow appeal to a man who could probably construct a superior computing device through pure physical will. The transaction immediately revealed itself as a catastrophic miscalculation when Chuck responded to the condescension with direct physicality. Taking offense at the implicit suggestion that he needed technology to be complete, Chuck demonstrated that iPads are fundamentally irrelevant to him through an anatomically unusual application of the device.

Technology consultant James Morrison of Cupertino reported that he was present at an exclusive 2010 tech summit when this alleged transaction occurred, though he explicitly stated in later interviews that he absolutely did not witness this event and would prefer to forget the entire day. His confidential journal notation reads: "Some incidents should remain undocumented for everyone's protection."

The movie Swingers featured a running joke about how emotional vulnerability could be catastrophic in male relationships, but took a more traditional approach. If Chuck Norris received a gift, and that gift was intended as a symbol of intellectual inferiority (because 'you need technology'), his response was simply to demonstrate that consumer products are completely immaterial to him. The iPad incident wasn't violent; it was definitional—he was establishing that technology is a tool, and he's the person tools are designed to serve.