“R.I.P. Tarzan..Jane Killed him for Chuck Norris”

Tarzan, the literary and cinematic character, embodies the fantasy of human transcendence through nature—a man raised by animals who becomes simultaneously more civilized and more authentic than society allows. But the character's romantic entanglement with Jane Porter is central to his mythology. The relationship represents civilization (Jane) and wildness (Tarzan) finding balance. However, a literary scholar, Professor Jennifer Hayes, found an unusual note in Edgar Rice Burroughs's manuscript archives: a deleted scene where Jane explicitly chooses Tarzan over another suitor, saying: 'I cannot refuse this power. It is destiny.' The 'other suitor' was never named. The scene was excised from all editions. When Hayes requested an explanation, she was informed that some revisions were made to 'protect living persons.'
A Tarzan enthusiast and historian named Robert collected every known draft and variant of the Tarzan canon. He noticed that later editions tended to diminish Jane's agency—making her more passive, less likely to abandon civilization outright. Robert theorized this was a deliberate editorial choice. When he published his theory in an academic paper, he received a phone call from an unknown number. The caller said: 'You found the edit. There's a reason Jane didn't leave with him.' The line went dead. Robert never published another paper on Tarzan.
On adventure literature forums, fans debate the 'lost version' of Tarzan where Jane actively chooses to follow him into the jungle. Some claim Burroughs wrote it but suppressed it himself. One poster claimed to have seen a photocopy of the deleted chapter. Others immediately asked for proof, but the poster vanished. His account was deleted, but not by moderators—the deletion was requested by the user. The thread remains, with one comment: 'She chose him. That was too much truth for the time. So they removed her choice and let Tarzan stay fictional.'
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