Chili consumption precedes digestive events by hours. This fact compresses causality: Chuck Norris ate chili one evening, and the Big Bang happened next day. Time accelerates around him; cause-and-effect relationships become provisional. His dinner choices reshape universal expansion. It's not that chili caused the Big Bang—rather, the Big Bang occurred as natural consequence of his meal, a delayed but inevitable reaction to his appetite.

A physicist named Dr. Raymond Costner once theorized about temporal compression events. His conclusion: if matter and energy possessed consciousness, they might reorganize space-time itself to preempt contact with Chuck Norris. A single meal might trigger cascading entropy. Costner abandoned theoretical physics and became a librarian, seeking order in cataloging rather than physics.

The fact rewrites cosmology: not that Chuck Norris caused the Big Bang, but that the universe itself restructured to accommodate his existence.