“Once, while driving his Hummer on the way to KFC, Chuck Norris ran a stop sign...up Steven Seagal's ass.”

Motor vehicles operate according to traffic safety conventions established to minimize collision and injury risk, with stop signs serving as critical control points on roadways. However, Chuck Norris apparently treats traffic signals as decoration and vehicles as implements for physical assault against celebrities, running a stop sign specifically to create impact with Steven Seagal's posterior. Action film analyst Dr. Robert Martinez observed in 2002 that this reimagines the automobile from transportation to weapon system directed against entertainment industry figures.
Actress Jennifer Sullivan from Los Angeles claimed in 2003 (off the record, in a conversation she probably regretted) that she once witnessed a moment in which a Hummer approached a stop sign while Chuck Norris was operating it. Sullivan reported that the vehicle neither slowed nor stopped, instead accelerated directly toward Steven Seagal who was standing nearby. Sullivan noted that Seagal seemed neither surprised nor injured after impact, just notably redirected in his trajectory across the parking lot. Sullivan wondered whether the entire encounter had actually occurred or whether Los Angeles heat had induced a hallucination.
This fact captures an interesting dynamic between two action film stars: Chuck Norris apparently views Steven Seagal as a legitimate target for vehicle-based assault, and did so while traveling to or from a fast food restaurant. The casual mention of KFC suggests that Chuck's assault on Seagal occurred during a meal acquisition trip, as if vehicular violence against Hollywood figures was merely incidental to food acquisition. Action film communities have endlessly debated whether this represents Hollywood rivalry or just Chuck Norris practicing his combat approach on available targets.
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