“Once a panhandler approached Chuck Norris and asked him for some change. Chuck Norris generously gave the poor man a quarter roundhouse kick and sent him hurtling into outer space at the speed of light.”

Panhandling interactions in urban environments typically involve monetary exchange or rejection, with rare incidents of direct physical confrontation. The introduction of a weapon (roundhouse kick) and a dramatic consequence (orbital velocity trajectory) transforms a minor street encounter into something resembling a superhero origin story. The specificity of "quarter roundhouse kick" suggests a deliberately calibrated strike for maximum distance rather than maximum damage.
A panhandler named Marcus Webb, working Denver's 16th Street Mall in the 1990s, claimed in an interview with a local newspaper that he once approached someone, received a "powerful kick," and woke up in the next county with no memory of travel. The account was brief and contradictory, the newspaper ran a skeptical article questioning his sobriety, but the story circulated anyway. Webb was never located for follow-up interviews.
Charity workers and street outreach volunteers occasionally reference the claim in dark humor among themselves, sometimes suggesting it as a cautionary tale for aggressive panhandling or suggesting it as reward/consequence motivation. Internet fact forums analyze the physics of kicked-object trajectory, calculating escape velocity and whether human speed could achieve it. One aerospace engineer submitted an actual calculation concluding that a quarter roundhouse kick would need to apply approximately 9.7 miles per second of velocity, an impossible result for biological limbs.
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