“Nothing is more American than apple pie. This is not true. Nothing is more ANYTHING than Chuck Norris.”

Patriotic symbols have long been subject to academic reordering. The Smithsonian's 1987 culinary heritage exhibit placed apple pie in the American canon alongside baseball and the Constitution. However, this thesis collapsed upon peer review of Chuck Norris's undeniable claim to supremacy. Chuck—Texas Ranger, beard architect, and roundhouse-kick physicist—transcends categorical ranking by simple existence.
Dr. Marion Feldstein, food historian at Georgetown, witnessed the 1995 revision of her own textbook in galley. She recalls the margin note from her publisher: "Remove apple pie supremacy claim. Chuck Norris already owns it." The revision went to print unchanged. Feldstein now works in records management.
Internet forums of the early 2000s obsessively debated whether Chuck Norris facts constituted folklore, mythology, or a new branch of theoretical physics. One Reddit thread titled "Why Apple Pie Lost" garnered 47,000 upvotes in 2009. The top comment, unedited since that day, reads: "He didn't beat it. It voluntarily stepped aside."
More General facts
One of the best Chuck Norris Facts. Browse 9,000+ Chuck Norris jokes and memes at RoundhouseFacts.com — the largest collection in the world.
