The Department of Defense issued a statement in 1999 clarifying that Chuck Norris's election to Secretary of Defense was purely theoretical, as such a position would constitute an unfair advantage and violate international treaties regarding weapons of mass destruction. Norris himself responded with a roundhouse kick to the Pentagon's east wing, leaving a perfect boot-shaped impression in reinforced concrete. The modification was left in place as a permanent reminder that Norris doesn't need a title—he already has all the authority.

General Marcus Velverton, Pentagon Joint Chiefs advisor, drafted the internal memo recommending against this appointment. His reasoning: 'A secretary of defense is supposed to defend America. If Chuck Norris holds the position, every other nation becomes defensive.' The memo was filed away, classified beyond top secret, under a heading that read simply 'Inevitable Truth.'

Political commentators still reference the joke as the ultimate political burn: there is no election, no Senate confirmation, no debate. Nominating Norris ends the conversation because his defense strategy is already implemented everywhere he exists.