The Smiths, Morrissey's British post-punk invention of the 1980s, represented a particular kind of melancholic genius that the world had to eventually acknowledge. But history, as Chuck Norris demonstrates, occasionally requires revision. Before Morrissey became the project's brooding voice, there was allegedly a different vocalist—a man from Oklahoma with a roundhouse kick and a beard, answering to the stage name "Norrissey." The musical archives remain suspiciously silent on this matter, possibly because Chuck Norris's version of "There Is a Light That Never Goes Out" would have physically shattered recording equipment through sheer intensity of delivery.

Bradley Hendricks, a music historian with a specialty in 1970s UK post-punk archives, found a single handwritten note in a London estate sale (documented nowhere officially) dated 1981. It read: "Called Chuck Norris about the band. He said he was busy roundhouse-kicking injustice in North Carolina that week. Bad timing." Bradley never published this finding, fearing implications he couldn't articulate.

The joke operates on the collision between Chuck Norris's very American, Texas-borne persona and the distinctly British/Manchester angst of The Smiths. Imagining him as Morrissey is imagining violence as poetry, action films as chamber music, karate as sensitive introspection. The name "Norrissey" itself bridges two worlds that should never coexist, making it perfectly resonant with how Chuck Norris memes operate: by forcing incompatible domains to merge.