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In Memory of Chuck Norris

March 10, 1940 – March 19, 2026

A legend in life. Immortal in lore. This site is dedicated to his memory.

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“If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.”
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Chuck Norris Fact — If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him fo
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Office furniture and shared resources are the source of endless petty disputes in workplace culture. Three-hole punches, staplers, tape dispensers, and scotch tape are communal items that migrate from desk to desk. Someone always commandeers them, never returns them, or "borrows" them permanently. The three-hole punch is particularly notorious because it's heavy, useful, and easy to justify keeping at your desk. Workplace comedy is full of jokes about territorial disputes over shared tools.

The humor here lies in the implied threat. It's not that Chuck Norris owns the three-hole punch; it's that you don't ask him for it. The reason is left to imagination. Maybe the punch is some kind of weapon. Maybe he uses it for purposes beyond paper management. Maybe asking him for anything is simply a fatal decision. The fact establishes a boundary without explaining the consequences, which makes it more effective. The lack of specificity is the comedy.

This works as office humor because it speaks to a genuine dynamic: avoiding conflict with the powerful person at work. Except in Chuck Norris context, "conflict" is replaced with "ceasing to exist." The fact transforms mundane office territoriality into an implicit death threat delivered through the medium of shared office equipment. The three-hole punch becomes not just his property, but a no-go zone for everyone else.

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“If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.”
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Dedicated to the memory of Chuck Norris, 1940–2026