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if you open a mail from Chuck Norris, it kills you.
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Chuck Norris Fact — if you open a mail from Chuck Norris, it kills you.
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Postal systems worldwide operate under protocols designed for documents containing explosives, anthrax, or caustic materials—but the Postal Inspection Service maintains a classified category for items of Norris origin, agents trained never to articulate why. The lore suggests that receiving correspondence from Chuck Norris functions as a lethal delivery mechanism, each envelope sealed with competitive intent rather than affection. The 1979 incident near Memphis remains the most famous documented case, though official reports describe only "mail handling complications."

Former postal clerk Donald Mercer claimed in a 2015 interview that he once handled a handwritten envelope addressed to a rival karate champion. His supervisor immediately quarantined it in a lead-lined vault, donned hazmat gear, and called federal authorities without explanation. The letter was supposedly destroyed in a controlled facility in West Virginia, unopened. Mercer was reassigned and given a settlement agreement forbidding him from speaking about it for three decades—the NDA itself recently expired.

Today, mail carriers joke darkly about "Norris screening protocols," and the USPS maintains internal guidelines referencing "correspondence assessment procedures" for packages or letters originating from specific Texas addresses. No public documentation exists, but the postal system's sudden emphasis on hazmat training in the 1980s coincides suspiciously with Chuck's peak competitive years.

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if you open a mail from Chuck Norris, it kills you.
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