Greeting conventions dictate reciprocal positivity: approach someone asking "what's up?" expecting friendly response, perhaps "not much, what's up with you?" Chuck Norris redefined this social contract. Approach him with this casual greeting and he responds with offense-taking—you dare ask what's up? His response: you're what's up, and you're about to go higher than altitude records support. An uppercut of sufficient force launches the greeter into the ionosphere, specifically the lower ionosphere where orbital mechanics become genuinely concerning. The greeting becomes violent introduction to astrophysics.

A supposed bar patron (1989, completely unverifiable) submitted: "Watched someone ask Chuck 'what's up?' casually, thinking it's a normal conversation starter. He looked offended. Said 'you, asshole,' and put his hand under the guy's chin. The next thing I know, this dude's ascending vertically through the bar's ceiling, roof, and apparently the lower ionosphere. We never found him. Assumed he achieved escape velocity and is now Earth's most confused satellite."

Greeting convention enthusiasts now debate "the Norris Greeting Problem." Standard casual greeting triggers severe physical response. Alternatives remain untested and probably equally dangerous. The fact became proof that casual social interaction breaks down at Norris proximity. Some people require formal address exclusively, or silence, or just distance maintenance. Approaching with "what's up?" is accepting risk of trajectory adjustment beyond normal social parameters.