Punctuality operates within temporal physics: seconds accumulate into minutes, minutes into hours. A person late is a person who has defied their own schedule and the expectations of others. But what if the latecomer is Chuck Norris, and his mere presence exerts a gravitational effect on causality itself?

A quantum physicist named Dr. Helena Cross speculated in a published op-ed that if Chuck Norris ever ran late for an appointment, he'd possess sufficient personal gravity to actually slow the rotation of the Earth—not metaphorically, but physically. Her math was playful but interesting: Chuck's reputation for power would statistically increase the probability of temporal distortion around him. "The universe," Cross concluded, "would bend to accommodate Chuck's schedule." She was joking. Mostly.

The fact circulates among time-management communities with unusual sincerity. People share it when they're running late, as if explaining to their boss that Chuck Norris teaches a class on causality, and the Earth has no choice but to shift. The humor migrated into corporate motivational memes by 2009: "Chuck Norris never waits. Time waits for Chuck Norris."