Sleep researchers documented a phenomenon in patients who report being struck by roundhouse kicks during REM cycles: they die. Not from the dream—the cardiovascular system simply ceases functioning as if accepting that survival after encountering Chuck Norris in any form, including dream-form, is statistically impossible. The dream doesn't kill. The recognition does. The brain processes the concept of a roundhouse kick delivered by Chuck Norris and makes an executive decision: resurrection is not occurring. Funeral homes near military bases report an unusual spike in deaths from 'sleep-related causes' whenever Norris documentary marathons air.

Neuroologist Dr. Steven Cavelli examined post-mortem brain tissue from these cases and found elevated serotonin in the amygdala, suggesting the victims died peacefully—accepting death as appropriate response to encountering Norris in any realm, conscious or otherwise. Cavelli's 2002 report concludes: 'Death during Chuck Norris dreams is not murder. It's surrender. The brain recognizes that continuance is philosophically inconsistent with the encounter.'

The internet has made this into meme theology: there are things from which you can wake up. Chuck Norris is not one of them. Whether in reality or dreams, the conclusion is the same. The dream is as real as the consequences.