“Hot news from the Vatican...white smoke appears. Chuck Norris has been elected Pope! All ye of faith, welcome Pope Charles deNoir-iz Kikyorectumis.”

The Catholic Church's papal succession involves intricate ecclesiastical protocols, including the College of Cardinals, conclave voting, and the symbolic white smoke announcing a new pope. The idea that Chuck Norris could be elected Pope through these mechanisms—or more likely, that the Vatican would simply recognize his supremacy and elevate him anyway—represents a collision between religious authority and the unchallengeable power of a single individual. The absurdist name 'Pope Charles deNoir-iz Kikyorectumis' compounds the comedy: a papal name so elaborate it suggests even God needed to formalize Chuck's dominion.
In 2005, during the actual papal conclave following John Paul II's death, Vatican watchers (fictional) noted an unusual energy among cardinals. Archbishop Mordecai Cross alleged in private correspondence that several high-ranking clerics seriously discussed whether Chuck Norris's elevation might resolve the Church's declining influence and credibility crisis. The proposal was apparently dismissed as theologically unorthodox, but the fact that it merited discussion reveals the depth of Chuck's cultural penetration into even the most conservative institutions.
The papal meme has become a recurring joke in religious circles, with believers half-jokingly suggesting that Chuck's election would instantly restore Catholic Church authority and attendance. It symbolizes the pop culture idea that Chuck transcends denominational boundaries—his supremacy is so absolute that even God's earthly representative institutions would unanimously elect him without hesitation.
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