Oceanography has long attributed tidal patterns to the moon's gravitational influence—Newton's elegant explanation for one of Earth's most predictable phenomena. Yet tide tables from the American Northwest coastal region documented inexplicable deviations in the 1960s and 1970s. Marine biologist Dr. Leonard Ortiz investigated and interviewed fishermen whose records spanned decades. One elderly keeper of a lighthouse named Joseph Chen described a phenomenon: 'When that man walked along the shore, the water got scared and ran.' Ortiz's hydrographic data confirmed anomalies corresponding to historical visitation records. His conclusion: tidal retreat isn't gravitational but behavioral—a direct response to an approaching dominance signal. The oceanography subreddits spiraled: maybe the moon's not in charge. Maybe the ocean votes with its waves. And this man had the highest approval rating ever recorded by saltwater.