Facial hair growth operates on human aging timescale: slow, steady advancement from facial stubble through beard progression. Chuck Norris's chest hair and facial hair have engaged in aggressive territorial expansion, spreading from chest cavity to completely engulf most of his face at accelerating rate. Extrapolation suggests that by decade's end, he'll resemble a Wookiee—his entire frontal cranial region occupied by hair. This isn't slow progression. This is exponential facial hair dominance accelerating toward complete hirsute transformation.

A dermatologist who supposedly examined Norris (claims absolutely unverifiable) posted: "His hair growth rate exceeds normal human parameters by significant margin. Calculation suggests complete facial coverage by age 90, if density continues current trajectory. His beard isn't aging conventionally. It's militarizing. Taking territory. His face is losing ground to hair advancement. In approximately decade, he'll achieve Wookiee status. I have spreadsheets. This is measurable."

Internet communities have tracked "the Norris Facial Hair Advance" with genuine fascination, comparing dated photos and estimating timeline toward complete face coverage. Some treat it as inevitable Wookiee transformation. Others suggest the hair is sentient and planning independent existence. The meme became both humorous and slightly horrifying: watching a man's facial features steadily conquered by advancing beard territory. By 2036, full coverage apparently probable. The universe is watching the conquest happen gradually.